That Refuge

***This is edited and I'm leaving out a few details because, frankly, I try to be careful what I say online when I'm out of the country. The details I'm leaving out are the most harrowing. :) I also have photos and video of various moments but I'll add them later.

Below is my IG post without the pic because I don't have time to get the computer out and add it and my phone and blogspot aren't photo compatible.

Totally a weird pic and not the kind I usually would post, but for the first time in my life today (scratch that... second. Forgot about a certain evening this past fall) I truly FELT the meaning of the verse "I will lift up mine eyes to the hills where my help comes from". I got a little too cocky and comfortable today and had a harrowing experience that I'll share later on the blog. This pic was in my place of refuge, which ironically happened to be the Garden Tomb. It was taken after I had already cried twice and just collapsed on a bench in relief. When I stumbled in, a violinist was playing "Great Is Thy Faithfulness". I'd say yes it certainly is.

Below is the series of text messages (with some additions) that I sent Kraig once I got back to wifi and familiar ground:

I did the world's dumbest thing. I left the group at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre bc I've seen it. I decided to go to the Garden Tomb. I didn't consider what our guide had told us, that it's the last Friday of Ramadan and the first time in 5 years that Israel had allowed anyone, no matter of citizenship, to come to pray (meaning Muslims). Our guide told us there were 500 buses full of pilgrims from all over here. They had shut down a bunch of roads. I got swept up in a mass of humanity in the Old City headed out to the Arab bus stops and all of the tourist buses at Damascus Gate. First, I slipped and fell but two sweet Muslim ladies and one man helped me up. 

Once out of Damascus Gate, there was an insanely heavy police and military presence. They had set up scaffolding and were up on it, there was a lot of loudspeaker talk I couldn't understand, and there were police and soldiers (heavily armed) every 10 feet or so (in pairs). I remembered the general area of the Garden Tomb but everything looked different with millions of people and markets set up everywhere. I couldn't find the Garden Tomb so I walked forever and asked people and kept getting sent the wrong place. I walked the same ground numerous times. Then I got caught up in the crowds at the Arab bus stop and SAW the Garden Tomb close to me. The police and soldiers had all the roads closed and they wouldn't let me through. Finally they sent me to another checkpoint. Meanwhile, massive crowds of Muslims were screaming at them at the checkpoints to let them through. While I was waiting at one, the crowd got wild and there were several (edited) scary moments.  I literally almost ran away (the people are tougher than I am bc they didn't even move). I kept going to checkpoints and no one would let me through and I was literally trapped in the bus station circle with thousands of people. That's when I finally started crying. Then I finally found a nice soldier who told me to walk three streets around and I could get through. I did and finally got to  the Garden Tomb. I stumbled  in and, no lie, a violinist was playing "Great is thy Faithfulness" and very few people were around. I sat on a bench and cried. And then started breathing again. 

I stayed as long as I could, then I knew I had to get back but I dreaded the crowds again. They weren't as bad this time and I found a water seller and at least called off. I had planned to get a cab back but all the roads are closed and so I couldn't get one there. I walked forever around the Old City, had to make a choice of right or left, went left on a whim and, for the first thing right all day, I looked around and realized the building in front of me is Mamilla Mall (about a half mile from our hotel and where ice been eating dinner)! I thought I had to go all the way back around the Old City perimeter but I was there! So then I teared up again because I hadn't wasted money on a cab and I bought a lemonade and sat down with wifi to text and decompress. It's the first time I have felt A. actually scared and not just nervous like on the bus to Bethlehem and B. helpless since I've been here. I've walked 6.2 miles on Friday, the vast majority of it accidental.

I want to add more of the info on the Garden Tomb and my feelings while there, but it will have to be another post later.

*** I also want to say, and I'll say more later, it didn't matter if the crowd had been Muslim, Jewish, Christian, atheist, or Oprah-religion, it would have still been the same. So please, not commentary on the religion of the masses.