awakening

Isn't life funny? It took me 37 years to discover my true self and it happened during a month stay in Israel in the summer of 2015. The symbol for me of that self-discovery is a little Italian bistro in a bustling mall in Jerusalem. I always chose a table outside with a view of the Old City Walls. There, in the shadow of ancient history's storied walls, I found the truest version of me, and the one I will carry into my future. I ate there alone (something I had never done anywhere) more nights than I didn't, spending time in prayer and study and reflection and introspection. The "return to life" (see: Joseph Campbell) has been more challenging than I ever would have imagined. The year after Israel was the hardest year I have lived through in 39 years. From a challenging year professionally to an emotionally dark year for my extended family to deep struggles personally, August 2015-August 2016 was a time of great turmoil and pain. I believe the seeds planted in Israel encountered a season of painful growth last year. Growth involves tests and pruning and tilling. It's amazing to me, though, how almost to the date, a new year brought light and fruit and hope. My school year this year feels better, my grandparents are together and happy (which means my mom is at peace), we have started an incredible journey as a family, a journey of hope and promise. I'm forever grateful for that July in Israel and that little bistro that represents my own awakening. Even knowing of the year that came after, I'm still filled with nostalgia and happiness every time I look at this little bag.