Kelsey and the Land of Enough

I’ve got this amazing kid who lives in my house. Well, I have five amazing kids in my house, but this post is about a certain one. My Kelsey is coming to the end of her last middle school cross country season. Kelsey is one of those kids who was blessed with a tremendous work ethic and incredible heart, but not as much of that gift that some people have of a natural ability that comes effortlessly. She has to push and work for everything she gets in the classroom, in the swimming pool, on the cross country course, and on the volleyball court (a sport that she decided she didn’t have enough love for to make the effort worth it—a fact I greatly respect and one that shows her self-awareness).

The other day, Kelsey came home telling me about the people she is recruiting to the swim team. As she is talking, I feel this twinge inside because I know the chances of these people being better than her at swim are very good. It’s the same twinge I felt when she was encouraging people to join cross country. And when she insisted that Angela run… the sister who beats her by a full minute in every race… the sister who has never run on a team before… the sisters who love and support and encourage each other. And when, after sixth grade volleyball, she begged friends to try out the next year… friends who made the team and she didn’t.

The thing about that twinge is that it illustrates precisely the difference in me and Kelsey, a difference that proves she is a better person than I am.

We live in a society that operates in a philosophy of scarcity. It’s an economic concept, a philosophical one, an ecological one, a political one, and a psychological one. It shows up at our workplaces, in our elections, in our friendships, our bank accounts, on our teams, and… dare I say it???... even in our churches. Whether we openly admit it to ourselves or not, we have a belief that there is only so much of everything—success, money, power, popularity, jobs, relationships, luck, goodness—to go around, and so if you have it, then there isn’t going to be enough for me. Not only is this completely false in almost every aspect, it’s not biblical. The fact of the matter is that we have enough. And there is enough to go around. The New Testament church lived by this system and the Body of Christ is called to it today.

Brené Brown has studied and written extensively on the concept of scarcity and the ways it impacts our daily living. She wrote, “This internal condition of scarcity, this mind-set of scarcity, lives at the very heart of our jealousies, our greed, our prejudice, and our arguments with life.” That is exactly the root of our complex relationships with the desires listed above—success, money, power, popularity, jobs, and relationships.

So what’s the answer? It’s what Kelsey has already, and did at a very young age, figured out and somehow manages to live by. It’s what her 40 year old mom still struggles with every time she sees someone else achieving or receiving what she wants. The answer is to realize and live in the Land of Enough. When you operate from a place of enough, when you live in the Land of Enough, you know that there is always room at the table for you. You want to write a book? You don’t have to feel twingy every time you hear that someone you know is writing one. Their book doesn’t edge out yours. There is always room on the shelf for more books! Your friends made the volleyball team and you didn’t? There are two other sports you love and enjoy. You have enough sports in your life. Your sister runs faster than you? Cross country is all about beating your own PR. It’s somehow both a team sport and an individual one, and the stronger each individual, the better the team. So having a fast sister on the team means that the team does better! Those strong finishes are enough.

Kelsey has learned that when you live in the Land of Enough, you become a thankful giver. You can encourage others to join your teams and activities because you know that there is always enough to go around. You give others affirmation, time, encouragement, and YOU. This is what is so magnetizing about my youngest girl, the reason people are drawn to her and love being around her. It is emotionally rewarding to be around someone who is fully invested in YOU because she isn’t always trying to look for an angle or be on the alert for a way that you may somehow one-up HER.

Kelsey writes something on her wrist before every race, and it’s so appropriate for the way she lives her life. She writes “relentless”. I think she got it from a Missy Franklin book she read and she fully embraces the idea of pushing herself to her limits. The beautiful thing about Kelsey is that she knows she can be relentless in her pursuits without walking over others. She knows she can achieve her own personal best without being threatened by the personal bests of others. I have so much to learn in this life, and I should start by learning from those in my own house. Enough. We are, we have, ENOUGH.

Cited:

https://eewc.com/scarcity-vs-abundance-moving-beyond-dualism-enough/

Brené Brown's Daring Greatly and Taming the Wilderness