The Bottom Line

I know the story will continue to unfold here, both the back story and the future story, but today I wanted to share about something several people have already asked about, and that is our fundraising plan.

Let me first say that, while we certainly have no judgement for people who choose other methods AND that we would NEVER refuse if someone read our story and contacted us to say that he or she would like to write a check to pay the whole thing off, haha, we plan and prefer to raise our funds in a blend of ways. We have already made several payments from our own finances, and we expect to continue to do that at times, although as you might imagine, we don’t really have $35,000 laying around (or, some days, even $35, haha!). We are planning to make use of applying for adoption grants, although we know this is a hit or miss sort of thing (and we can’t even apply for those until our homestudy is complete). We (ok, *I*) are fundraisers. I have always taken that role for organizations I am part of and, if I’m honest, I thoroughly enjoy the planning and sometimes even the execution ;) of fundraisers. I have a pretty good feel for what works and what doesn't and we are part of a large support network of people who always show up and show out. We have raised a total of $21,000 for Cambodia mission trips over the past four years (for multiple family members) and God provided for that, so we know He will provide for this.

However, in doing fundraising for anything, even a noble and right cause, there are risks.

We prefer to rely on the type of fundraising that consists of us working to provide a service or a product in exchange for funds. We do not intend to do donation letters or anything like that, although we will GLADLY accept donations and have an account set up at pure charity through our agency for exactly that. BUT. Because we are doing this adoption a little faster than most, our payments are going to be very close together, which is going to make it necessary to do at least one fundraiser that steps outside our preferred methods, and that fundraiser is going to be right now in order to hopefully raise the $3200 we need for our home study. For this fundraiser, we have envelopes numbered 1-130. The idea is that family and friends will take (and it doesn’t have to be physically take, it can be virtually) one or more envelopes and commit to the amount of money represented on that envelope. For example, envelopes 1, 16, and 29 would mean you are committing to a $46 donation. Because our home study is being done through a TN agency and we are using a North Carolina agency for our adoption, these funds cannot be done through pure charity. You can either paypal us the money or send check or cash. If you are willing, we would love a note from you to include in the envelope(s) of your choosing that can one day be read by our future family member. I know that many of you have given to our Cambodia trips through the years and I know that we are pressing on you again, but we also know that God is in this and He will greatly bless your contribution.

 
The other risk is simply to wear your crowd out with fundraising, especially since we have so recently made a mission trip to Cambodia. With that in mind, we sat down last night to create our fundraising plan and we have very intentionally created a plan that will consist of one major fundraiser each month. We also believe these fundraisers will appeal to different groups of people so that we aren’t exhausting the same crowd’s resources over and over. We think we have a list of really fun and exciting events that people will WANT to take part in, not just feel obligated to.

Finally, we started our business, For Such a Time Creations, as a source of income for all of those “For Such a Time” times… mission trips, to help sponsor Phirom in the PCL Home in Siem Reap, to support our favorite missionary, Isaac, and to be free to give to other local and non-local organizations. In addition, we give a portion of all large orders to various nonprofit and ministry groups and we offer shirts at a discounted rates to ministry groups of our choosing. Well…. it’s finally FOR SUCH A TIME for funding for something I had always hoped would come, an adoption, and it finally has. While we will still continue to support those causes we have already committed to, most of our profit from our business will go to support our adoption until it is paid in full (and then I guess to continue to feed and clothe ALL of our children after that, haha!). So any orders for us, screenprinting, vinyl, or otherwise, are directly supporting our adoption.

Tomorrow I hope to share the full fundraising plan, but I wanted to introduce our envelope fundraiser now so I wanted to include all of this information. Thanks for following along!

The Back, Back, Back, Back Story

Orphan care (the umbrella term given to seeking to help children who have been deprived of parental care, either through death, abuse, neglect, abandonment, or any other means) has been a part of our lives and our story and our hearts for the entirety of our marriage. We worked together at the first Royal Family Kids’ Camp our church did (18 years ago) as a newly dating couple. We have continued to work these yearly camps, the middle school fall weekend retreats, and serve on the Leadership Board in the years since.

I have felt a call on my heart to adopt since I was 12 years old. I didn’t just feel called, I KNEW that adoption was going to be part of my life story. I didn’t worry too much about when or how, just knew it would be. Kraig and I discussed this when we were dating and newly married and we were both on the same page. A couple of years after we married, we knew we were ready for kids. We talked about it and decided that, although we knew we wanted to have biological children, the best order to go about things might be to adopt first, then have biological children. With that plan in place, we started the PATH classes through our local DCS with a decision made toward the end of that to pursue the foster-adopt path (fostering a child who is in a situation where it is likely parental rights will be terminated).

However, because our timing and our plan is not always God’s, everything changed pretty quickly after we completed the classes and the homestudy. I had some medical issues and my doctor told me that if I wanted to have biological children, I should do so sooner rather than later. With that news, we dropped the adoption plan for the time being and pretty quickly got pregnant. I always assumed that we would return to adoption when our girls were in lower elementary school.

Again, my timing, not God’s. For whatever reason, Kraig never felt an urgency or a call to return to adoption. For years and years, I chomped at the bit and stewed and sometimes pouted and fussed and worried over the time that I felt was slipping through my fingers. If I’m being honest, there were times it could have been a source of contention between us if I were married to someone like me. Instead, the way it always went is that I brought up adoption, Kraig didn’t really engage in conversation or shut it down pretty quickly, and then I silently questioned how God could call one person in a marriage and not the other.

Over the years (approximately 8 years of feeling it was time without being in agreement to move forward), that call and certainty from my 12 year old life evolved into doubt and then into a Promise. As I struggled in the frustration, God started to speak to my heart in so many ways. He made it abundantly clear that He was in control. He also made it abundantly clear that an adoption was still in our future, but I only needed to be still.

Every year at Royal Family, my desire was revived and the burden was heavier. Every year after Royal Family, I would bring it up again to Kraig and every year it seemed to fall flat. In all of those times, God would use something to remind me that our future and the future of our family was in His hands. I remember one day in particular, and she probably has absolutely no memory of this at all, but I ran into the parent of a former student in Target on the Monday after Royal Family. Her girls were both grown up and in college and she and her husband were foster-parenting. We talked for a long time and she told me that she had always wanted to foster parent and her husband was never open to it. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, he said to her one day, “Let’s foster parent.” She had no idea what her story meant to me at that particular moment. I left Target, got in my car, and cried at the goodness of my Father. That was also a defining moment for me in regard to timing and logistics. I had always assumed we would adopt a child around 5 or 6 but we wanted our kids pretty close in age and Emma and Kelsey were getting too far past 5 and 6 for that to work. In that moment, I realized that we might end up adopting an older child, or that we might not adopt until Emma and Kelsey were teenagers or in college. The little picture I had in my head of the way things should go started, at that moment, to fade and be replaced by the vibrant but as yet blurry masterpiece of the plan God had, even at that time, already ordained.

A little over four years ago, I read a book by Jen Hatmaker called 7. This week, I am having the students in my CLIMB group do a little activity in which they identify 8 major events in their lives, then come up with a song for each event, ending with a sort of “Soundtrack of their Lives”. I did it along with them and one of the defining events in my life was reading that book because it completely shaped the course of the rest of my life. As an almost direct result of reading that book, I went on my first mission trip as an adult. We went to Cambodia that next year and spent time in two orphanages which just furthered my passion for adoption. (Cambodia is actually closed to adoption, so it has never been an option for us, but spending time with and falling in love with the kids there has deeply impacted our family.) The following year, I returned to Cambodia but this time was accompanied by Emma and Kraig. I have no doubt that the two of them were as deeply affected as I was through that opportunity. Two years later, this past summer, we returned a third time, this time with Kraig again and Kelsey instead of Emma. Our girls have been as passionate about adoption as I have been for so many years and these trips as well as hearing about Royal Family over and over have solidified their desire to share their home with adopted siblings.

As for me, God has used these past four years to show me what it means to rest in a Promise. Some days were easier than others. But just when it seemed that my hope was fading, He would send a sermon about trusting the dream He has given you or a conversation with someone or a passage from the Bible that I have never before noticed or read in quite the same way. Throughout this time, He has been helping me learn to be still and wait. (In the interest of full disclosure, I am still learning this lesson in a million different areas of my life and likely WILL BE learning it for the REST of my life. It is NOT something that comes easily to me.)

For the past year and a half, I have not mentioned adoption to Kraig at all. In this period of time, I have clung to God’s Promise. In fact, about two years ago, I prayed very specifically for one of two things to happen: for God to either call Kraig to adoption or for Him to remove the call from me. It was a painful prayer to pray, but I was living in a painful middle place and I was too weak to stay there. Two years later, God has answered that prayer. And in the way God so often does, He has answered it BIG.

This is a shirt I made in 2014 as a reminder to myself that His Promise WOULD come to pass.

I ordered this bracelet last year from my favorite Etsy shop, Farm Girl Paints, to encourage my heart to keep the hope.

Our Yes in Him

One day soon, I'm going to sit down and share the many, many ways God has confirmed and whispered and even SCREAMED to our hearts that we are walking down the right path in the journey that we are announcing, but for right now I'll just say....

WE ARE ADOPTING!!! 

Another day soon, I'll share the back story of how many years upon years upon years I have waited to say those words. But for right now I'll just say...

He is such an incredibly good Father. And when He gives you a promise, you don't ever have to question whether or not He will bring it to pass. Because He will. And when He nudges you and says "Be still", then gives you a little shove and says, "Wait", then finally grabs your face between His hands and says, "LEAVE THIS TO ME", you should and you can. Because one day, it will be fulfilled. 

For me, the start of that fulfilled promise was August 11, only two weeks ago this week. Since that date, we have talked and prayed and talked and prayed and talked and prayed, cried, asked a few trusted friends and pastors to pray, chosen an adoption agency, completed 25% of the paperwork required based on our eAdopt dashboard, sent in payments, and are beginning the process of setting up a home study with a TN agency. We have not been matched yet so the details are still not nailed down, but our focus is currently on the Philippines. 

We would deeply appreciate your prayer support at this time, as the upcoming weeks and months will be very important to this process. We know that God has His hand on our family and our future family and we know that whatever He has called us to, He will bring to pass. 

2 Corinthians 1:20

To My Newly Married, 22 Year Old Self, Written on my 16th Wedding Anniversary

To My Newly Married, 22 year old Self:

What an adventure you have in front of you, Dear One. I know that you are going into this marriage with lots of excitement and very little trepidation, and that is a great thing. You are also going into this marriage with a whole lot of selfishness and a GAGGLE of expectations, and that is NOT such a good thing. You are SO. YOUNG. You have been SO cared for and so loved and so provided for and that is a blessing. The downside of a life of such ease, however, is that you might not be completely prepared to be a grownup. (And in some ways, that sweet husband of yours is going to let you remain in this state of oblivion and bliss, thanks to the look he took at your checkbook registry the other day. Apparently it is not correct to round every check up to the nearest dollar “so that I always have more money than I thought!” and apparently that is the exact sort of thing that will cause an accountant husband to take all of the financial duties onto himself. Chalk this one up to an accidental win! ;) ) 

Your romance was a whirlwind. From falling so head over heals in March (even right before your first date) to getting engaged only seven months later, you immediately recognized something in this man that you had never found before in anyone else. That “something” is going to grow stronger and stronger and stronger as the years go by. 

This first year? It’s going to be SO STINKING HARD. (The second year isn’t going to be a whole lot easier, either…) Your days are going to be busy and full and not in the positive way. Working all day, going to school all night, and eating a frozen pizza together at 9:30 PM in your tiny kitchen isn’t your 22 year old idea of romantic. That’s ok. Carrying a calculator with you to the grocery store to make sure you don’t go over your grocery limit isn’t something you have ever seen your mom and dad have to do. That’s ok. Picking fights over stupid little petty jealousies that escalate into full-on battles is going to become your norm for a while. And that’s NOT ok. But you are going to grow up this year, so very much, and you are going to learn what it means to be a member of a partnership rather than what it means to be someone else’s child. And take heart, because the next two years are going to prove to be the most challenging you have to overcome, at least up to this point.

As the years go by, it’s only going to get better. The man you fell in love with is going to become your best friend, your comedienne, your provider, your partner, and your favorite person. He is going to be the most incredible husband to you. Then the babies are going to come, and with them more responsibility and more opportunities for laughter and fun. Treasure him. Treasure him as he treasures them. Laugh with him, take care of him, let him take care of you… This life ahead of you with him by your side is going to be easy and full of excitement.

Marriage is called a lot of things. YOUR marriage is going to be called easy. And adventurous. And pleasant. You all will agree on most everything, you will co-parent with ease, and you will seek the adventurous in the everyday with as much commitment as you will choose a lifestyle of grand adventure. You will enjoy each other’s company as much side-by-side working on shirts in the basement as you do looking across the table from each other in an Israeli cafe while the rain softly falls around you. The key to your marriage, and the piece that you have already discovered, is that He is the cornerstone. As you place Jesus at the center, you will grow in love with each other, you will raise your girls to be like Him, you will commit together to serve His people, and you will do it all while resting on the promises of Jesus. 

So go preheat the oven, Sweet Young Bride, and get the DiGiorno’s out of the freezer. You’ve got a lifetime of moments to share with the man God made for you.

Love, Your 16th Wedding Anniversary Self

Thou Forever Will Be

Music is never played in the hex where my classroom is. However, after a particularly challenging morning full of lots of doubts and insecurities and ill feelings, as I was sitting at my desk, steeped in despair, I heard the strains of "Great is Thy Faithfulness". I've always thought of that song as a praise in the sense of a song you sing when things are going well and looking up. 

Morning by morning new mercies I see! All I have needed Thy hand hath provided! Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow! Blessings all mine with ten thousand beside! Up, up, up, all happy and cheery! 

Today, though, it hit me differently. This year, everything in my life has felt different. I am different this year. And I feel broken and let down and punished and heartsick and guilty for feeling all of the above. I am questioning everything I have always known. At some point, everything that has always made sense.... well, stopped.

 But the God of the previous 14 years of my career is the same God of this last day of the 15th. The God of my childhood and my children's childhoods with grandparents who are strong and whole and present is the same God of the last days of them living at home. The God of my optimism and pep and certainty in parenting and my children's future is the same God of this past week of insecurity and fear. The God of seeking company and social events is the same God of a desire for solitude. The God of the huge successes is the same God of failure and defeat. 

There is no shadow of turning with Thee. Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not. As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

I don't think the moments of that song floating over my weary, broken soul were accidental. And I don't think the fact that it was THAT song, the one I already have such an emotional connection to from this past summer in Israel was accidental either. He is faithful. No matter the circumstances, He is faithful. And I am so thankful that He forever will be.

Look Up

I'm not a runner. Nor, actually, am I a water-walker. So I guess it's perfectly understandable that keeping my head up and my eyes focused ahead of me doesn't come naturally to me at all. And I guess that I should probably heed the message the Lord has sent me twice in the past three days... Actually more than twice, because I bet I heard it tonight at least 15 times as I stood at the track meet, timing clicker in hand, watching runner after runner go past. Over and over, Coach Frazier or Coach Thomas would yell out, "Look up!" "Keep your head up!" "Eyes out front!" I fully understand not looking behind you-- who has time for that? But my natural inclination is to look down and I can guarantee you that if I was running full speed down the track (can we take a moment and giggle at THAT mental image???), flying toward hurdles, I would be watching my legs to make certain they fully cleared them and I didn't need to prepare for a crash landing. Apparently, though, even in hurdles, you keep your eyes fixed ahead. Emma and I talked about it a little on the way home and she mentioned something I had never heard nor thought of before, even in lessons about Peter walking on the water and starting to sink when he looked down. She said that if you look down or around, you lose your momentum (I understand that concept) and you get dizzy. That's not something I have heard of, but as someone who is prone to a literal AND figurative dizziness, that hit home with me.

My family loves to take cruises. I do too, but I love them for the days in port. My ideal cruise would be one where I was just teleported from port to port and was never on the ship. In other words.... I guess not a cruise at all... ;) I don't enjoy the time on the ship because I am extremely sensitive to its movements. They all say that it's all in my mind but it is NOT. My equilibrium is whack. Plain and simple. I am the same way in old houses where the floor isn't totally level. I can feel it immediately and it makes me dizzy.

Dizziness is such a weird feeling-- or is it even a feeling??? It's not painful-- not aching or sharp or dull. It's just... Dizzy. Your head feels spinny and the ground feels unsteady and you feel a little sick. It's an empty sort of feeling. It's the dream that gets lost along life's journey, the loved one who's just beyond your reach, the passion that has lost its shine, the career that has suddenly betrayed you, the faith that shifts beneath your feet, the friends whose conversations die too quickly. When you're dizzy, everything that seemed solid and firm feels uneven and fragile.

 And the other really tough part about dizziness is that it's not something you immediately seek medical attention for, nor is it something you can easily put into words. In 2013, I was physically dizzy for about six months, off and on. It turns out it was a mixture of a hyperventilation incident (waiting my turn for a public speaking engagement, mind you-- I knew that first time I was breathing into a paper bag in Mrs. Hawes's public speaking class in 11th grade that it would kill me one day) that kind of threw my body into a weird cycle and dizzy migraines (which either started as a result of that or the timing happened to coincide perfectly with that day). It took me months to finally go to the doctor about it, and when I did, I felt like an idiot. Sharp pain in your side? Check, seek medical attention. Chest pains? Get help ASAP. Broken leg? Put a cast on that thing. Debilitating headache? You need a scan. Dizziness? Huh? It's just not something you feel legitimate about when you explain it to people. It feels... weak. And fake. And like you're fabricating an illness.

I think the sort of dizziness that comes from looking down and around instead of straight ahead in life is also really hard to put into words. It, too, feels like you're just looking at the negative side of things. It's one thing when you have some specific root for an actual pain. You can point to a situation and say, "This is the problem. This is what needs to be fixed." It's another when you just have to mumble around the rocks in your mouth at the question, "So how are things going?" "Um... They're going." Or "Well, it's hard right now." But the SPECIFICS, they aren't there.
It's hard because... I don't know.
I don't HURT, really...
I'm just ... Empty.
I just can't find level ground.
I just... don't have the words for it.
It's ... I'm dizzy.

I do know that you can only stay dizzy for so long before you will finally fall. And at THAT point, there WILL be a specific pain or cause to point to. And there will likely be some damage, too. The level of damage will just depend on how hard you fall. And how far.

So I guess the obvious answer here, the one that I heard Coach Frazier call out to middle school athlete after middle school athlete, is to just LOOK UP. Don't look around, don't look down, look up. Look past this hurdle, let go of the fear of falling, look past this person trying desperately to beat you, look beyond your aching body and your weary soul, and LOOK UP. Lift your eyes to the goal (Phil 3:14-15). Or lift them to the hills, from whence comest your Help (Psalm 121:1-2). Maybe some seasons of life are naturally shaky. Maybe some are going to be unsteady. But you just need to open your ears to the Coach, running that last leg beside you, gently reminding you to LOOK UP.

Abundance

Tonight feels so very heavy. This year has felt full of tragedy and heartbreak, collectively, for our community. In the past month, my heart has hurt deeply for students and former students, for coworkers, for friends, for church members. Last week the death of Joey Feek, though I didn't know her or any of her family personally, weighed heavily in my mind. Loss and impending loss have hovered all afternoon and evening, covering us like a thick haze. I can't quit thinking about daughterless parents and motherless children and wifeless husbands. I can't quit thinking about teenagers who feel unloved and unwanted, who are failed by the system, who just need one thing to go right. I can't quit thinking about little guys and little girls who are abused by the people who are supposed to tenderly care for them. 

In light of all of this, and in case someone else is struggling this weekend, I wanted to share my notes from the Abundance conference. Skim through or read carefully, but let the words seep in because you might need them more than you even realize, as I did.

"King of the World"
Natalie Grant (not to be confused with AMY Grant) did a concert on Friday night. She sang lots of beautiful songs, but one absolutely captivated me and I know it was because I am living right in the middle of what she was talking about in the song. I am especially in need of this song every time I think about the impending Presidential election, because quite frankly it is scaring me absolutely to death. The chorus goes like this:
"When did I forget that you've always been the king of the world?
I try to take life back right out of the hands of the king of the world
How could I make you so small
When you're the one who holds it all

When did I forget that you've always been the king of the world?"

Annie Downs

Having a full life doesn't mean you have an abundant life

Abundance is plentifulness of the good things of life

Acts 16
Lydia is a woman probably much like us. On the Sabbath, she was sitting with her friends by the river. She had a job-- a dealer in purple cloth. She had a household, she had houseguests. She had religious practices and a full life. However, something was missing for her. When Paul told her about Jesus, she couldn't resist.

Verse 40

Stuff and friendships and a job you love and a house to take care of and religious practices aren't enough. Jesus brings abundant life.

John 10:10

How is it abundance when we don't have everything we want?

It's about Jesus changing how you see what He has already given you.

He gives you new eyes to see what you have.

Luke 2:36-- Anna

If you want the abundant life, stay here because He is here.

Don't ignore the places of hurt and pretend your life has given you everything; it doesn't have to be. But it can be abundant because it's about Jesus. When the hard days come, you can still go to bed happy and know that He is still good.

Curtis Jones

Luke 8

If all that we preach and read isn't true in both the glory and the grind, then it's not true.

If it's not true when you're shattered AND when you're healed, it's not true.

John was faithful when the rest were not. 

There's nothing done in the kingdom that is not based on simple, unseen tasks.

Jesus tells us to pray because He knows what's coming for us.

John's glory and grind

Crucifixion and empty tomb

You need a Theology of Yes-- to believe we have a God who loves saying yes to us

We will have a moment where we will make a request and the answer will be no.

Jesus shows it's possible to have a theology of yes, I don't know, and no bc HE did.

In the Garden, He heard no.

Bc Jesus drank from His cup, when it's my turn to drink from MY cup, I'm going to survive. 

We can be faithful and faithfilled people.

Natalie Grant

We learn more about the character of the God we serve in the storm than we ever do on the mountaintop.

Hosea 2

Lisa Harper

Acts 12:12

Jesus touched the leper while he was still hideously disformed, filthy, and legally untouchable.

Lysa Terkeurst

II Chronicles 20:2

Three armies were coming against Jehosophat.

It's possible to hold so tight to Jesus that you have a reaction that surprises you.

Reactions determine so much about the future trajectory of what God wants to do in your life.

If we can learn to have better reactions, we will eventually have better relationships.

Verse 3-- Alarmed, J resolved to inquire of the Lord.

His name is bookended in two realities-- alarmed and resolved.

Feelings, while wonderful indicators that something is at hand that must be addressed, are poor dictators.

God gave emotions for us to experience life, not destroy life.

Resolved means he had already predetermined the first place he would turn when something happened.

He resolved to inquire and proclaim a fast.

Every day is a daily feeding of that resolve if you give your thoughts to the Lord.

You must exchange whispers with God before shouts with the world.

Wherever I apply my mind first is going to saturate me most deeply. When I get squeezed, the Lord is what's going to leak out if that's what we have saturated ourselves in.

Desperation leads to revelation.

Verse 5- we don't know what to do, but our eyes are on you.

We stare at the problem and magnify it while God is saying fix your eyes on my presence and my promise.

The more we press in, the more we magnify God.

Verse 15-- the battle is not yours, but God's

I will honor my God in this moment.

My job is to be obedient to God.

When you don't know what to do, get into God's word and let God's word get into you.

God's job is to figure out everything else.

Verse 18- he bowed down with his face to the ground and they worshipped the Lord

Not worship FOR my circumstances, but in the MIDST of them.

When is the last time we have been in that posture?

Proverbs 11:2 humility opens the door to wisdom

Pride says I'm going to numb myself and I can handle this

It's not true

In humility before the Lord, saying I don't know what to do but asking Him to let us worship

If I respond in pride, it's my right to be right

Pride and disgrace always hold hands, humility and wisdom always hold hands

Verse 21-- he gets his battle strategy

The highest form of power is found in praise, not in strength and weapons

Verse 24-- looked toward that vast army and saw only dead bodies lying on the ground

Verse 29-- and the fear of God came upon all of the surrounding kingdoms when they heard how the Lord had brought victory

***I came home this weekend with two major takeaways. There was a recurring theme at this conference of getting into His word and into prayer. This goes perfectly hand in hand with what I feel like our new Pastor and his sweet wife have been modeling for us at South Cleveland. I was deeply convicted when Lysa Terkeurst said that she always checked social media and email and voicemail every morning before spending time with the Lord until she realized that, when squeezed, whatever she had saturated herself in is what came out. Her phrase, "You must exchange whispers with God before shouts with the world" just about knocked me over. I am making a vow to spend more time in His word and in communion with Him. This is an area I have struggled with for as long as I can remember and there just isn't an excuse. The other message that struck me deeply were the reminders about reaction and perspective. I am probably the world's worst about tunnel vision, about seeing my surroundings through my human eyes instead of allowing God to show me His view. That is something else I'm going to focus on over the coming months.