To My Newly Married, 22 year old Self:
What an adventure you have in front of you, Dear One. I know that you are going into this marriage with lots of excitement and very little trepidation, and that is a great thing. You are also going into this marriage with a whole lot of selfishness and a GAGGLE of expectations, and that is NOT such a good thing. You are SO. YOUNG. You have been SO cared for and so loved and so provided for and that is a blessing. The downside of a life of such ease, however, is that you might not be completely prepared to be a grownup. (And in some ways, that sweet husband of yours is going to let you remain in this state of oblivion and bliss, thanks to the look he took at your checkbook registry the other day. Apparently it is not correct to round every check up to the nearest dollar “so that I always have more money than I thought!” and apparently that is the exact sort of thing that will cause an accountant husband to take all of the financial duties onto himself. Chalk this one up to an accidental win! ;) )
Your romance was a whirlwind. From falling so head over heals in March (even right before your first date) to getting engaged only seven months later, you immediately recognized something in this man that you had never found before in anyone else. That “something” is going to grow stronger and stronger and stronger as the years go by.
This first year? It’s going to be SO STINKING HARD. (The second year isn’t going to be a whole lot easier, either…) Your days are going to be busy and full and not in the positive way. Working all day, going to school all night, and eating a frozen pizza together at 9:30 PM in your tiny kitchen isn’t your 22 year old idea of romantic. That’s ok. Carrying a calculator with you to the grocery store to make sure you don’t go over your grocery limit isn’t something you have ever seen your mom and dad have to do. That’s ok. Picking fights over stupid little petty jealousies that escalate into full-on battles is going to become your norm for a while. And that’s NOT ok. But you are going to grow up this year, so very much, and you are going to learn what it means to be a member of a partnership rather than what it means to be someone else’s child. And take heart, because the next two years are going to prove to be the most challenging you have to overcome, at least up to this point.
As the years go by, it’s only going to get better. The man you fell in love with is going to become your best friend, your comedienne, your provider, your partner, and your favorite person. He is going to be the most incredible husband to you. Then the babies are going to come, and with them more responsibility and more opportunities for laughter and fun. Treasure him. Treasure him as he treasures them. Laugh with him, take care of him, let him take care of you… This life ahead of you with him by your side is going to be easy and full of excitement.
Marriage is called a lot of things. YOUR marriage is going to be called easy. And adventurous. And pleasant. You all will agree on most everything, you will co-parent with ease, and you will seek the adventurous in the everyday with as much commitment as you will choose a lifestyle of grand adventure. You will enjoy each other’s company as much side-by-side working on shirts in the basement as you do looking across the table from each other in an Israeli cafe while the rain softly falls around you. The key to your marriage, and the piece that you have already discovered, is that He is the cornerstone. As you place Jesus at the center, you will grow in love with each other, you will raise your girls to be like Him, you will commit together to serve His people, and you will do it all while resting on the promises of Jesus.
So go preheat the oven, Sweet Young Bride, and get the DiGiorno’s out of the freezer. You’ve got a lifetime of moments to share with the man God made for you.
Love, Your 16th Wedding Anniversary Self
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