One.

one.

I tried to get on board with the one little word rage years ago, but honestly, I am just too verbose to make that happen. ;) So I have tended to choose phrases for my years instead. I don't do "resolutions", but I do make lists of focuses each year. Last January, I was in survival mode and didn't really choose a word at all, just kept hanging onto certain Bible verses the Lord gave me as if my life depended on them (and honestly, it did). At the end of 2017, I realized my word for that year had been "hold". And hold, we had and we did.

This year, I saw a post on a page I follow where people were sharing their word and, although I already felt like I had a clear idea of my focus goals for 2018, I had no clue what word I could have. As the days between Christmas and New Year's passed, I felt this word start to crystallize in my spirit: one. And by New Year's Day, I had a pretty good understanding of what that word is supposed to represent and mean to me in my 2018 life.

First of all and most importantly, it represents the One Who gives me life and purpose. I already mentioned that in 2017, I lived hanging onto His word like a lifeline. And that was important and good. But in 2018, I want to live hanging onto His word because I want to, not out of a sense of desperation. I want to live with Him as my first thought in the mornings and my last thought in the evenings and my sweet conversation in the between hours. I want to be more intentional about my daily devotionals, our family devotionals, and encouraging my kids to make Him the center of it all. I want to give Him my every concern and worry, taking on the "easy rhythms of His grace".

Secondly, there are some specific areas I want to stop talking about "one day" and instead treat as "day one". One of those is my writing. I am going to write regularly this year, but more importantly than that, I am using this year to collect the writing I have already done. I am copying my Facebook posts every day from my "On this Day" app and am going to collect my Instagram posts as well. At the end of 2018, I should have a good feel for what I already have as far as content and should be ready to choose the focus of what I want my first book to be. I am not going to reach the end of my life and look back at the dreams I had and wonder where I lost them along the way. I am 40 right now, and it's time to accomplish one of them.

I tend to get wrapped up in fears and anxieties and stress and thought patterns (and googling and following rabbit trails and basically just creating things to worry about). I think part of my one is to remind me this next year of what I am really good at reminding my students of, but stink at following myself.... one thing at a time. one day at a time. one task at a time. one issue at a time. one bite-size chunk of life at a time. That's all I can handle and it's all I need to handle.

I also want to be better about maximizing my time and attention in regard to the people in my life. In 2018, I intend to be more purposeful about visiting my grandparents. I want to make the most of time with my parents and for my kids to see both sets of grandparents more frequently. I feel like we have lost some social connections over the past couple of years and I want to make sure to make those a priority again. I am creating time and space for my husband and me to have dates, and we are continuing our alone times with each of our children. In regard to these areas, I want to treat the one I am with, at any given moment, as if they are the most important one on earth to me. Because they are.

In a similar vein, I mentioned at the end of 2017 that I worried I hadn't connected as well to my students this year (although I feel more connected to my colleagues, in some sort of paradox). I am continuing some things and starting some new ones to make a connection to my students, things like writing a card to one student in each class every week. I won't get to all of them, but at the end of the semester I write a card to each student anyway and so I want to use these cards to reach out to either kids who seem to really need a connection or to one who is going through a tough time.

Sometimes I get so bogged down in everything I want to do for this world around me that I become almost paralyzed with the overwhelming feeling of never being enough. This year, I want to remember the phrase that I think was attributed to Mother Theresa, "Do for one what you wish you could do for millions." I want to hone in once again on the ministries that are dearest to my heart and pour myself out to those instead of feeling like I need to do a little dabble in everything.

Finally, and the fact that I put this last makes it obvious where it falls in my own mind as far as importance, although I know it probably needs to be close to the top to make the rest of it work.... I have to make this one.... ME.... a priority. I have to carve out space for myself to recharge, to be cared for, to have fun, and I have to make my health a focus. I want to continue my better sleep and water intake of 2016-2017 and add better eating and activity habits to that. I want to make sure that I am doing the things needed for my own emotional and physical and mental wellbeing.

So that's my 2018 focus word and the ways it's going to play out. One. One year to finish stronger than I started it. Let's do this.