My Walmart Miracle

Who knew Walmart was going to be the place I found my hope again?

A bit of backstory:

The past week or two have been complicated. Not BAD, not HORRIBLE, just complicated.

Last week, I took a sick day on Monday for a doctor appt that I was certain was going to bring really scary news. I had not expressed these fears to ANYONE, including Kraig, but all weekend the weekend before, I had a sense that it was my last weekend of normalcy. Sunday night, my mom took my dad to the ER with difficulty breathing and they admitted him. On Monday morning, as I waited in the waiting room on the verge of a panic attack, I got a text from my mom that my dad's issues were more serious than pneumonia or a weird heart rhythm. As you might imagine, that day went downhill and I spent the remainder of my sick day at the hospital. However.... the bad news I expected to get at the dr office? Not a bit! All is well, praise the Lord.

My dad was in the hospital all week and during that time, Emma got sick and I had to stay home from school with her on Friday. Another family member had a scheduled surgical procedure Friday and Kraig was at the hospital for that, then he was out of town for the weekend of recovery, which left me with four kids, a prom, and school responsibilities.

Prom, although awesome, was complicated because A. I've never had a son before (he wore green and navy checked socks with a black suit-- it is what it is), B. I was chauffeuring him and his date, C. I have three other kids, D. I had an opportunity to make prom happen for a student of mine which meant additional driving and helping and arranging and planning, and E. I am a member of prom committee and had duties at the actual prom.

In the middle of that, I got word that a student's mom had lost her car. We got through the weekend (my dad came home from the hospital with news of an upcoming heart surgery) and I planned to address the car need on Monday.

On Sunday night, I got a text reminding me that I needed to come up with a plan, so I started trying. I'm sure it will be an entire post for a future time (maybe the one that explains my career change, haha!), but I have come to realize that finding resources is absolutely impossible and even the ones you can find aren't easy to use or navigate or understand. Sunday night, I was just MAD. It's NOT FAIR that things are either easy or hard for people through no fault of their own, but their circumstances. It's NOT FAIR that the systems are so impossible to utilize.

I spent my planning period on Monday calling agencies and wild-goose-chasing random employees of my school and school system for a plan. The problem, like all issues in these cyclical situations, is that there is more than just one issue. Monday afternoon, I took her home from school and made more calls to agencies. Again, nothing but dead ends and useless tries.

Monday night, I had moved into frustrated planning mode. I got some suggestions from a few friends, but I was annoyed by many pieces of the puzzle, most of which I need to keep to myself. As I told a friend last night when I was so frustrated I was almost crying, "I guess I just have some really big feelings about this."

By Tuesday, after more dead ends and few return phone calls or follow ups (thanks, though, to Lisa Wylie and Kelli Kyle who sent me some great information), I was feeling beaten down. I had a little bit of a window before I needed a school transportation plan and that window closes Wed afternoon, so Tuesday midday was feeling tight. Another agency I talked to today was a good option for some things (I have to be vague), but I needed to talk to the mom of my student about it and the only way to do that was going to be to call her. This was a problem because: I HATE talking on the phone, I had no idea how to broach very personal life situations with her, I don't know her really at all, I had no idea how she was going to react to me basically butting in, and you can't read tone on the phone.

In addition, I could not get ahead for a second on anything school-related and all of my tomorrows for "I'll do that tomorrow" are getting gone. In addition, I have a big day planned tomorrow for all three classes that requires lots of set up and I have no time, no place, no opportunity, and no way to do it (no planning period tomorrow either). In the midst of all this, I got a text from Kraig that the Christmas gifts for the SP sweetie we are buying for are due TODAY and I haven't thought a thing about it, much less purchased them. SO. That means a trip shopping this afternoon, which was the LAST thing I wanted to do. I already needed to go to Aldi for ingredients for two events I'm having to make food for tomorrow. Now THIS would mean WALMART. We went to see my grandparents after school and I called Kraig to tell him I would just need to come back out tonight and shop because my invalid child didn't need to walk around Walmart. Kraig said to just bring the boys to him and he would take them home and I could just take the girls.

I have spent all afternoon feeling hopeless. I even posted on fb and said, "My righteous indignation is gone. Now I'm just annoyed, frustrated, tired, and sad. Also I'm still teaching and mom'ing. Please keep praying for my dad. That's all I've got for today." When I put that post up, my thought was, "I guess it's time to walk away. I don't know where to turn from here, I don't know how to help, and maybe it's useless anyway. I tried."

{Enter: Walmart Miracle}

The girls and I did our shopping in record time, found everything for sweet J for Christmas, got what I needed for the food I needed to fix, and headed out. It took a minute of disorientation to realize it when we couldn't find the car, but as we crossed the main drive of Walmart, I realized we had come out the opposite door we went in. The girls were all three talking and I wasn't listening at all. Finally, one phrase cut through my depressed and martyred stupor: "I think that was ____'s {student whose mom lost her car} mom." I stopped in the middle of the Walmart parking lot. WHAT??? These girls of mine have seen this woman in ONE picture. That's it. No way they recognized her. WHERE??? They point to the sidewalk outside Walmart and said, "Sitting on the ground with the buggy." From where I was, I could see only the buggy. I sent them on to the car and headed back just to see, still doubting so seriously it could be her.

I don't even need to tell you this, but.... IT WAS. And I was able to sit down beside her on the ledge outside Walmart, face to face, and talk to her about their situation, their needs, a plan, agencies I had talked to, specific information, and her feelings on getting help. No need to worry about a phone call or not knowing how she would respond. BUT. GOD. I didn't walk away from our talk with everything figured out, but I walked away armed with needed information, with her blessing to continue to make efforts, and with HOPE. I don't need to worry that it's beyond my scope because, as Priscilla Shirer and Gideon are showing me, it's at the end of me that He shows up. I looked up into that brilliant blue sky above a Walmart parking lot and I just smiled so big at a good God who knows exactly what we need and when we need it.

I got in the car with my girls who were waiting to hear how their amazing observation skills and their caring hearts had paid off and I said, "God is SO MUCH bigger than we are." Emma said, "That is EXACTLY what I just said." As I told them about our conversation, my cryer cried out of a heart of compassion, my doer proposed a plan of action, and my giver said, "I have some money. Not much, but a lil' bit. You can have it for them." {It has to be noted that my giver has been on the receiving end for much of her life and she understands what it means to be in need.}

I am still blown away. I cannot comprehend how many things had to fall in place for me to be at Walmart at that exact moment, for my girls to recognize a woman they had seen in ONE picture, and for that scenario to fall into place. Don't doubt God. He's even on the Walmart sidewalk, the LAST place I would expect him to be.