Shifting the Paradigm

The other day, I was talking to a student about a new dog they had gotten, a shelter dog. She was telling me about the many issues the dog has, the fact that the shelter was concerned that no one would ever come for that particular dog. I told her a little bit about Saige and our journey with her, the way she was terrified of males (and now Kraig is her absolute favorite person in this house), the fact that she took off like a shot (somehow getting out of her harness) the moment we got home and we thought she was gone for good, the desire we had for her to be a house dog and the way she wouldn’t come anywhere near the house (once we finally caught her that first day), and the fear we had that we were going to have to give her away almost as soon as we got her because she didn’t seem to be willing to live here.

I look at this baby now, almost four years later, and I am so shocked by her transformation. I can’t imagine the past nearly four years without her, those soulful hazel eyes and soft fur, floppy ears, high energy but ability to fall asleep INSTANTLY. It also kind of scared me to imagine how close we came to giving up on her.

And as a teacher, a person who works with foster care ministry, and a mom of kids from a hard place, I can’t help but think about the fact that her initial behaviors when she came to us weren’t from a place of animosity or even misunderstanding, but a place of fear. Her defenses were up because of the past that she had. She was afraid of men, likely because of the ways men had treated her. And as Kraig and the boys loved on her and met her needs and played with her and gained her trust, she warmed to them. But she didn’t just warm to THEM, she warmed to all men. She lost the generalized fear she had of men, fear she had developed because of the treatment of certain men, due to the gracious love shown to her by other certain men. 

We can’t disregard the past that people carry with them, the ways in which their behaviors are shaped by the treatment they have been given. At the same time, we can’t underestimate the impact we can have, just us as individuals, on those around us. It may only take you to shift the paradigm for someone, to show them that it doesn’t always have to be the way it’s always been.