Just Look...

Just Look...

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Small Town Dreamin’

It seems like lately I’ve been inundated with dreams. Not the kind you have at night while sleeping (that I have vividly and can somehow go in and out of again and again, no matter how many times I wake up), but rather the kind that keep you up at night and keep you going all day or, maybe, the kind that you keep pushed down so deep that you don’t think of them too much.

My AP class just read The Alchemist. It’s a phenomenal book, one that brings up some great conversation about dreams (phrased in that book as “personal legends”) and life. It’s a cool time to have those discussions with seniors as they are making college decisions right now and are at a place where they are deciding if their dreams are going to stay dreams or if they are going to actively pursue what their heart is leading them to. Every year when we read it, it causes me some self-reflection and I always tell my own story of how I became a teacher. And every year, I am also confronted with other dreams I have had and currently have. 

Last week I did a webinar on writing with Emily Freeman. She said two things that struck me:
“The thing you long to do is the thing you were made for, and it’s what you were meant to do.”
“The world needs what makes you come alive. And if that thing is writing, the world needs you to write.” I left that webinar conflicted because, while writing is what I long to do, I seem to be in the worst possible season of life in which to do it. Just during the hour and a half webinar, 4 out of 5 teens and one husband came in multiple times with multiple needs. I’m torn between spending my extra time following another more practical (and let’s be honest—immediately lucrative and necessary) family dream with our small business versus writing. And to be totally honest, most nights my biggest dream is just to come home from school and sporting events and after school activities, eat dinner, and just fall into bed until I have to get up and do it all over again.

But then, in the midst of this tiring life and a schedule packed to the brim of event after event and deadline after deadline, there will spring another reminder of dreams. On Friday, it came in the form of our CHS Hall of Fame induction ceremony. The speeches this year were absolutely AMAZING and there were two really clear themes that showed up over and over: dreams and hard work. A couple of times, one speech seemed to contradict another, unless you were listening closely for the connections that could be drawn even from the juxtapositions.

Over and over, the kids were exhorted to work hard. They were reminded to follow their dreams. And then Elizabeth Dale threw this kicker in and said, “Maybe don’t follow your dreams, follow your capabilities.” She told them dreams can be impractical, but your capabilities will lead to mastery of a craft. Then she reminded them to work hard at something, or a few things, till they mastered it. Drew Helmstetter upped the ante with, “Do what you’re good at so you can do what you love.” Sometimes you have to work at one thing in order to make room for the dreams. And finally, Tanya Mazzolini brought it home when she said, “You may have to do some dirty work on your way to your dream job.” She also pushed the fact that you are NEVER stuck and you don’t have to know right now or at any point what job you will have for the next fifty years of your working life. It’s always ok to change paths. 

I left that ceremony reminded, challenged, and inspired. I mulled those points over all day and night Friday and all day Saturday. Because not only am I in a place where I need to consider my dreams, I’m parenting a boy who has some big decisions to make over the next few months and he’s not your textbook senior. He’s making decisions about things he doesn’t even know about, playing a game without the full instructions. It’s daunting and overwhelming to me to help lead him down this gauntlet, especially when many factors are beyond any of our control and depend on governments and paperwork and choices we don’t have enough information on. Tanya’s speech gave me great encouragement for him that one path may lead to another which leads to another which eventually is the best one. 

Then came last night. If The Alchemist was the seed and the webinar was the water and the Hall of Fame speeches were the pruning, last night was the bloom. I sat in a dark auditorium last night and I watched one of my favorite people from high school do what he was born to do. I watched him show mastery of a craft. I watched him exhibit the results of a lifetime of hard work. I watched him glow and smile and laugh and be the physical embodiment of a dream become a reality. I got to see what it looks like when your capability and your heart’s greatest desire happen to be the same thing. I saw what Coehlo would call someone living in his “personal legend”, someone who didn’t listen when the world and society said, “Your dream to be a musician, ok, but what do you want to do for real? What do you want to do for money? Being a musician is a pipe dream.” 

As I watched Todd Parks play in the Sam Bush band, I was filled with a most palpable sense of pride. I was inspired. My heart was bursting. It’s a little awkward to acknowledge it, in a room filled with drunk bluegrass fans and sitting beside my dad, but a tear slid down my cheek once or twice. Is Todd just one of the lucky few for whom it all falls together? Do the rest of us get a shot at the kind of joy I witnessed last night? Or is it that he’s one of only a few who are brave enough to say, “I’m doing it. Whatever it takes, I’m doing it.” Or is he one of only a few who are strong and committed enough to give their dream what it takes? I don’t know. I just know that I was sitting in the presence of a dream fulfilled in the most magical, beautiful, joyful, and incredible of ways and the energy swept me along with it. I came home with a little bit of the glow from him and I’m ready to see where it takes me. 

Todd.... you are amazing. Watching you do what you do was something I’ve always wanted to see and I’m so thankful I came last night. Even though I wanted to back out at the last minute because apparently I never want to leave my house when I don’t have to. Which might be another issue I need to work on. Haha!

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