2019: Known Or.... NOT.

My New Year's reflection this year is, as many of them tend to be, a reflection on contradictions. Maybe that's just what adult life is... contradictions.

My word for 2019 was "Known". I started the year with hopes of knowing Jesus more and feeling more known by Him, of knowing my family and my people and being known by them, of knowing ME better and feeling known, of knowing my calling and must students better and being known by them, and of knowing my social circles better and being known by them.

There were points this year in which I decided that, not only was my One Little Word an ABYSMAL failure, but I had actually never had a year I which I knew less or was known any less. Then I started to break down the different areas of knowing and being known and I realized that it wasn't a failure, it just wasn't a complete success.

I read something last night by Rebekah Lyons about being careful who you allow to have the microphone in your life. That is such a powerful thought; but for me, I'm the one who sometimes should have the microphone. I have such an overwhelming tendency to magnify my losses and my failures and minimize my gains and my successes. And that's not the way of my Father.

2019 was a year of transitions for our family. I said on instagram today that, for Kraig and I, it was absolutely the most parenting transition year other than 2003, 2005, and 2017, all of which were years we added actual new humans to our lives. One child graduated high school and started college and work, another child moved into the upperclassman years, and two transitioned from middle school to high school. Three kids gained some independence, as we got three driver's licenses in 2019. We saw our roles as parents start to shift as our kids moved into new phases of life and it was... weird.

This year we watched God do a most amazing thing for us. Just before the end of 2018, we felt like he was calling for six of us (instead of the original 3 we had planned) to go to Cambodia this past summer. But to do that, we had to raise $10,800. Although we have seen God raise miraculous amounts of money before, there were moments in this process that we weren't sure it was going to happen. However, in most amazing of ways, He did it. I still need to write a whole post about that, and I eventually will. For every moment of that trip, it was confirmed over and over again that He wanted us all six in Cambodia at that time. I will forever cherish the memories of that amazing ten days with those beautiful people and the ways it has shaped my life and the life of my family forever.

In 2018, I had the first cancer scare of my life. I got word in November that all was well, and I settled in to enjoy peace until that dreaded "six month follow-up". That appointment took place in May 2019, and it was at that point that I entered the second cancer scare of my life. That one ended with a surgery and, thankfully, the words "all clear" when the results came in. I had not told the kids or anyone but Kraig and my mom anything about it in 2018 until we had the results of "benign", but in 2019 they knew that I would have a follow-up, so it was a stressful time for all of us.

It's no secret that I love watching my kids do things that they love and excel at, and watching a kid compete at the collegiate level in a sport was incredible. Francisco had such a fabulous cross country season with Cleveland State and it was awesome to watch. The others had great swim seasons (Kelsey), tennis seasons (Roman and Emma), cross country seasons (Kelsey, Roman, and Angela), and JROTC Raiders Competition season (Angela). Emma also did Model UN again and all of the kids found clubs they enjoyed. Francisco had an awesome end to high school with scholarships and a class award. Everyone had a great end of the school year in May as far as grades and awards and so far, we have enjoyed a great current school year academically.

It's also been an exceptional year of spiritual growth for all seven of us. I have watched my kids lean into their callings and seen their gifts from Him start to crystallize and shine. Seeing them in Cambodia as they ministered to the kids there, watching them work in kids' church, seeing the connections Emma is making with kids she baby-sits, hearing Francisco practice his sermon for the college ministry has been a joy of 2019.

Professionally, I have had a really great 2019. The last school year ended strong in regard to my students, although there were some significant disappointments and what felt very much like betrayals in other aspects, but the Lord has taught me that sometimes the way to cope is to forget. And so that is what I have done. This school year has been a great blessing so far. I gave up a leadership position and that ended up being a very wise choice for me. My students this past semester was really wonderful, even with an odd group and a challenging group.

Our business had a great year and functioned exactly as it was meant when we created it. We used For Such a Time Creations to raise funds for our mission trip to Cambodia and it did so very successfully.

I guess, coming out of 2019, it's been a year of major growth. I said at the beginning of this post that I had failed terribly at my word, "Known", and yet I think I probably learned more about myself in 2019 than anything else. I continue on a journey of self-learning, self-knowing, as I learn more about and know HIM who created me.

Philadelphia

For Francisco’s “13th bday trip” (at almost 20), Kraig took him to Philadelphia. I’ll detail their itinerary below, but here are a few of the details below for planning purposes.

We used Airbnb for their stay and it was a great location for what they were doing, not fancy but fine. That link is here.

We booked City Passes, which were good for both days and included the Aquarium, Franklin Institute, Zoo, Bus Tour, One Liberty Deck, Eastern state Penitentiary, Museum of American Revolution, and National Constitution Center.

We also booked a Philadelphia by Foot Tour, a company we try to use everywhere we go. He did the Independence Mall Tour, which included outside the Liberty Bell, outside Independence Hall, outside Congress Hall, 1st and 2nd Banks, City tavern, Christ Church, Elfreth Alley, Franklin Burialgrounds, Old City Hall, and the Betsy Ross House.

They flew in on Saturday at 10. They took a taxi from the airport to the city center. They went straight to the Independence Hall Visitor’s Center for their bus tickets, then took the bus around. They stopped at Reading Terminal for cheesesteaks, went to the Eastern State Pen, and stopped at the Art Museum to see the Rocky Statue and run the steps. They got off at a bus stop near their Airbnb.

Their Sat night plan was the 49’ers vs Warriors game. They caught a taxi over, planning to eat around the stadium, but there weren’t many restaurants and everything was jam-packed. Instead, they ate IN the game. The ride back to their lodging was easy.

On Sunday AM, they were at Independence Hall at 8:55 AM to get their tickets (pre-booked). Their tour was at 9:40 and they took a 30 min tour and saw the Liberty Bell. Their Philly by Foot Tour was at 10:30, starting from the Betsy Ross House (just across from where they were). That tour ended at Christ Church. Their Segway tour (pre-booked and a great Groupon deal!) started at 12:30. That tour was really fun, although cold!

After another Philly cheesesteak, they headed back to the airport and came home!

A Red and Green Decision

It's December 20.

I have read so many people lately who are posting about keeping things simple during the holiday season, about letting go of the rush and the traditions and just cherishing time.

And I think that's very valid, so valid that in the midst of the most rushed Christmas season I can remember (which I likely say every year because I can't ever remember how bad it truly was the last time-- it's like childbirth), I decided to follow that advice.

There are several things that I let go of this year in favor of a simpler season and more time to just survive.

What I have realized on this December 20 that feels, not like 5 days before Christmas but like just any day in the early winter, is that I need the traditions. I need the markers, the little bit of liturgy, the rhythms that have always marked the seasons for me and that cause my brain and my body to pause and remember that it's not just early winter, it's CHRISTMAS.

If what works for you is slowing down and cutting some things out... do it.

But if what you need in order to feel the excitement of the season rather than just numb is to plan the events and nod to the traditions and give yourself the anticipation... do it.

One thing I try to emphasize to my kids at home and my kids at school is that a hugely important part of adult life is learning what works for you. And then doing it.

So next year, count us back in for the Polar Express Lights Night (which we may still work in), decorating our porches, turning on the tree lights every day when we get home, hosting a Christmas party, participating in RACK, and taking on a benevolence project.

And because I think it was the late Thanksgiving that messed me up so badly, I have set reminders on my phone for next year to tell me when I need to start this or that preparation so as not to be caught off-guard and then end up scrapping things next year.

I have learned that I'm a Christmas Tradition girl, and next year is going to feel a lot more red and green than this year has so far!