2019: Known Or.... NOT.

My New Year's reflection this year is, as many of them tend to be, a reflection on contradictions. Maybe that's just what adult life is... contradictions.

My word for 2019 was "Known". I started the year with hopes of knowing Jesus more and feeling more known by Him, of knowing my family and my people and being known by them, of knowing ME better and feeling known, of knowing my calling and must students better and being known by them, and of knowing my social circles better and being known by them.

There were points this year in which I decided that, not only was my One Little Word an ABYSMAL failure, but I had actually never had a year I which I knew less or was known any less. Then I started to break down the different areas of knowing and being known and I realized that it wasn't a failure, it just wasn't a complete success.

I read something last night by Rebekah Lyons about being careful who you allow to have the microphone in your life. That is such a powerful thought; but for me, I'm the one who sometimes should have the microphone. I have such an overwhelming tendency to magnify my losses and my failures and minimize my gains and my successes. And that's not the way of my Father.

2019 was a year of transitions for our family. I said on instagram today that, for Kraig and I, it was absolutely the most parenting transition year other than 2003, 2005, and 2017, all of which were years we added actual new humans to our lives. One child graduated high school and started college and work, another child moved into the upperclassman years, and two transitioned from middle school to high school. Three kids gained some independence, as we got three driver's licenses in 2019. We saw our roles as parents start to shift as our kids moved into new phases of life and it was... weird.

This year we watched God do a most amazing thing for us. Just before the end of 2018, we felt like he was calling for six of us (instead of the original 3 we had planned) to go to Cambodia this past summer. But to do that, we had to raise $10,800. Although we have seen God raise miraculous amounts of money before, there were moments in this process that we weren't sure it was going to happen. However, in most amazing of ways, He did it. I still need to write a whole post about that, and I eventually will. For every moment of that trip, it was confirmed over and over again that He wanted us all six in Cambodia at that time. I will forever cherish the memories of that amazing ten days with those beautiful people and the ways it has shaped my life and the life of my family forever.

In 2018, I had the first cancer scare of my life. I got word in November that all was well, and I settled in to enjoy peace until that dreaded "six month follow-up". That appointment took place in May 2019, and it was at that point that I entered the second cancer scare of my life. That one ended with a surgery and, thankfully, the words "all clear" when the results came in. I had not told the kids or anyone but Kraig and my mom anything about it in 2018 until we had the results of "benign", but in 2019 they knew that I would have a follow-up, so it was a stressful time for all of us.

It's no secret that I love watching my kids do things that they love and excel at, and watching a kid compete at the collegiate level in a sport was incredible. Francisco had such a fabulous cross country season with Cleveland State and it was awesome to watch. The others had great swim seasons (Kelsey), tennis seasons (Roman and Emma), cross country seasons (Kelsey, Roman, and Angela), and JROTC Raiders Competition season (Angela). Emma also did Model UN again and all of the kids found clubs they enjoyed. Francisco had an awesome end to high school with scholarships and a class award. Everyone had a great end of the school year in May as far as grades and awards and so far, we have enjoyed a great current school year academically.

It's also been an exceptional year of spiritual growth for all seven of us. I have watched my kids lean into their callings and seen their gifts from Him start to crystallize and shine. Seeing them in Cambodia as they ministered to the kids there, watching them work in kids' church, seeing the connections Emma is making with kids she baby-sits, hearing Francisco practice his sermon for the college ministry has been a joy of 2019.

Professionally, I have had a really great 2019. The last school year ended strong in regard to my students, although there were some significant disappointments and what felt very much like betrayals in other aspects, but the Lord has taught me that sometimes the way to cope is to forget. And so that is what I have done. This school year has been a great blessing so far. I gave up a leadership position and that ended up being a very wise choice for me. My students this past semester was really wonderful, even with an odd group and a challenging group.

Our business had a great year and functioned exactly as it was meant when we created it. We used For Such a Time Creations to raise funds for our mission trip to Cambodia and it did so very successfully.

I guess, coming out of 2019, it's been a year of major growth. I said at the beginning of this post that I had failed terribly at my word, "Known", and yet I think I probably learned more about myself in 2019 than anything else. I continue on a journey of self-learning, self-knowing, as I learn more about and know HIM who created me.

Philadelphia

For Francisco’s “13th bday trip” (at almost 20), Kraig took him to Philadelphia. I’ll detail their itinerary below, but here are a few of the details below for planning purposes.

We used Airbnb for their stay and it was a great location for what they were doing, not fancy but fine. That link is here.

We booked City Passes, which were good for both days and included the Aquarium, Franklin Institute, Zoo, Bus Tour, One Liberty Deck, Eastern state Penitentiary, Museum of American Revolution, and National Constitution Center.

We also booked a Philadelphia by Foot Tour, a company we try to use everywhere we go. He did the Independence Mall Tour, which included outside the Liberty Bell, outside Independence Hall, outside Congress Hall, 1st and 2nd Banks, City tavern, Christ Church, Elfreth Alley, Franklin Burialgrounds, Old City Hall, and the Betsy Ross House.

They flew in on Saturday at 10. They took a taxi from the airport to the city center. They went straight to the Independence Hall Visitor’s Center for their bus tickets, then took the bus around. They stopped at Reading Terminal for cheesesteaks, went to the Eastern State Pen, and stopped at the Art Museum to see the Rocky Statue and run the steps. They got off at a bus stop near their Airbnb.

Their Sat night plan was the 49’ers vs Warriors game. They caught a taxi over, planning to eat around the stadium, but there weren’t many restaurants and everything was jam-packed. Instead, they ate IN the game. The ride back to their lodging was easy.

On Sunday AM, they were at Independence Hall at 8:55 AM to get their tickets (pre-booked). Their tour was at 9:40 and they took a 30 min tour and saw the Liberty Bell. Their Philly by Foot Tour was at 10:30, starting from the Betsy Ross House (just across from where they were). That tour ended at Christ Church. Their Segway tour (pre-booked and a great Groupon deal!) started at 12:30. That tour was really fun, although cold!

After another Philly cheesesteak, they headed back to the airport and came home!

A Red and Green Decision

It's December 20.

I have read so many people lately who are posting about keeping things simple during the holiday season, about letting go of the rush and the traditions and just cherishing time.

And I think that's very valid, so valid that in the midst of the most rushed Christmas season I can remember (which I likely say every year because I can't ever remember how bad it truly was the last time-- it's like childbirth), I decided to follow that advice.

There are several things that I let go of this year in favor of a simpler season and more time to just survive.

What I have realized on this December 20 that feels, not like 5 days before Christmas but like just any day in the early winter, is that I need the traditions. I need the markers, the little bit of liturgy, the rhythms that have always marked the seasons for me and that cause my brain and my body to pause and remember that it's not just early winter, it's CHRISTMAS.

If what works for you is slowing down and cutting some things out... do it.

But if what you need in order to feel the excitement of the season rather than just numb is to plan the events and nod to the traditions and give yourself the anticipation... do it.

One thing I try to emphasize to my kids at home and my kids at school is that a hugely important part of adult life is learning what works for you. And then doing it.

So next year, count us back in for the Polar Express Lights Night (which we may still work in), decorating our porches, turning on the tree lights every day when we get home, hosting a Christmas party, participating in RACK, and taking on a benevolence project.

And because I think it was the late Thanksgiving that messed me up so badly, I have set reminders on my phone for next year to tell me when I need to start this or that preparation so as not to be caught off-guard and then end up scrapping things next year.

I have learned that I'm a Christmas Tradition girl, and next year is going to feel a lot more red and green than this year has so far!

For Such a Time

22 out of 30. That’s my total for my November goal to blog every day. It’s not 100%, not even really close, but I’m happy with it!

Today is the end of Thanksgiving weekend (Saturday night) and it takes my breath away (literally— I’ve had a pounding heart and shortness of breath all day long) to look down the barrel of the next 25 days. It is always the busiest, most hectic time as we have various holiday obligations, holiday delights, business craziness (for which we are grateful!), ending semesters at school, buying gifts, and trying to make everything special while also trying to keep the main thing, the main thing.

Today is also Small Business Saturday. We have been SO BLESSED in the past 4 years of our business, For Such a Time Creations. God has used this little dream of ours to provide funds for ministry, for missions, for fun, for an adoption, and for support. He has allowed us to do work for our church and other ministries at cost and for fundraisers at a lower price for them. He has let us use it to employ our children, and the time spent working side by side with my family members is so special to me. I truly see this as a creative outlet for me that I think has partially saved my sanity through these past four sometimes stressful years.

We have made new friends and discovered new missions through this business. We are blessed every time people trust us with a special time in their lives, every time an organization chooses us to create their tangible memories. We hope that we steward well all that our customers trust us with, and that the God who has entrusted us with so much is pleased with our business decisions.

We believe that we were given this dream “for such a time as this,” as long as that time lasts.

Tiny Changes

We are rearranging our house a bit (moved the dining room table to the main room, moved the little breakfast room table and the couch to the old dining room, adding a closet to our bedroom) and I'm struck by how totally different a place can seem with very small changes. Everything in the downstairs feels new to me every time I walk in, and it's just from making tiny changes.

It makes me realize that trying to drastically overhaul an entire life is completely unnecessary. You can see things from a new perspective and be pleased with progress just from making tiny changes here and there. I try to remember this as I set goals for myself, but inevitably I forget and end up trying to do way too much, which almost always results in failure.

Tiny changes. Tiny changes are how you change your world.

Fall Break Adventure Smorgasbord

In keeping with my logging of travel on here, I thought I would do a post about Fall Break '19, which was a smorgasbord of adventure.

Our original plan was to head to Florida and go to Sea World and Busch Gardens. Then Kraig found out about a conference he needed to attend the following day (after our trip) and, in consulting a map, I realized that it made a lot more sense for us all to just go straight to the city of his conference from Florida, then come home. THEN I decided to make some stops along the way! It was a great trip, and a great way for our kids to see more cities and historical sites, PLUS we stayed in some great Airbnb's.

Day 1, Saturday
Drove straight to Florida. If you have never stopped at the Clothing Carnival on the way, I highly recommend it. It's around Valdosta, and it's a great stop. Chacos were $30!!!
We had planned to buy tickets online, but at the last minute we decided to be cheap and see what they had to offer for people who went to time share presentations. We found a ticket outlet, didn't like the offerings, went in a second one, and got a great deal. We ended up not only getting tickets to both parks but we also got a meal plan at both places for all six of us and almost for cheaper than the online ticket only price!
Our Airbnb for this part of our trip was in Lakeland, which ended up being an excellent choice. The place was perfect for our family and the location was fabulous.

Day 2, Sunday
We went to Sea World on this day after our time share presentation. We all loved it SO MUCH. The weather was supposed to be rainy but ended up just being cloudy. It was excellent weather, tiny crowd, easy drive in and out. The meal plan paid off SO MUCH just at Sea World because there were lots of food and snack options and we ate far more than our money's worth. We had intended to get dinner once we left the park, but we ended up deciding to eat supper there too and save money!

Day 3, Monday
We went to Busch Gardens on the second day. It was awesome, for sure, but a lot of what we remembered and loved about it had changed (no safari ride, for example). The weather was ick, so we got wet often and many of the rides were closed. However, it was still a great day and there was almost NOBODY there. We didn't feel like the meal options here were as good as Sea World, but we, again, ate dinner before we left the park.

Day 4, Tuesday
This was our driving and stopping day. We left at a decent time and drove north along the coast. Our first stop was in St. Augustine. We went straight to the fort and walked around, then drove through the old city. We grabbed lunch and headed further north to Savannah, GA. On that stop, we parked at the visitor center (free) and got a map. Using the map, we hopped the city trolley (also free), the dot shuttle, and rode to the famous ice cream shop, Leopold's. After getting our cones, we decided to do some walking. We saw one of the famous cemeteries, the beautiful church, Flannery O'Conner's house, and several squares (including the one where Forrest Gump was filmed). We were close enough by then that we just walked back to our car. The next leg of our drive took us north to Asheville, NC, which is where Kraig's conference was and where we spent the night in our next Airbnb. I hated that we weren't here longer because her place was just adorable!

Day 5, Wednesday
Kraig had his conference, so we all left the Airbnb early and dropped him off. I had considered a lot of different plans for this day and had actively researched hikes and waterfalls and such. It was VERY foggy and cloudy, which really limited our options. We stopped at a Goodwill while we waiting for the fog to burn off some, then headed to a town along the Blue Ridge Parkway (I can't remember the name). At that point, we stopped at the visitor center and I went in to ask the ranger for advice. He recommended heading north to Mt. Mitchell, then stopping several places on the way back down. That's exactly what we did! Mt. Mitchell was pretty (though foggy). We walked to the top (more of a climb than I expected), then hiked down and around. I found that a short hike and a short walk aren't at all the same thing and my physical condition horrified me. The kids loved it. We then drove down, stopped at several overlooks and spots, including Craggy Gardens. The fog really hindered our views, unfortunately. We got back into Asheville and intended to do some shopping downtown (parked at the visitor center) but Kraig finished a bit early, so we picked him up, ate a late lunch downtown (do not recommend where we went), and headed back to Cleveland.

Day 6, Thursday
At home, which I 10/10 recommend. I give my bed and my house a 5 star rating. ;)

Day 7, Friday
With Francisco too this time, we left and headed to Damascus to bike the VA Creeper Trail. We thought we were going to have to drive two cars and ended up deciding taking the van with the bike rack and four bikes and renting three more was cheaper than driving two cars. We used a different company this time, Shuttle Shack, and we liked them (coupon online too). We also started the trail later in the day this time (around 1), which I HIGHLY recommend. We enjoyed our drive down very much, just like last time. We turned in our bikes and headed to downtown Damascus to see one of the Love installations (at a waterfall), then went to downtown Abingdon. I LOVED that city! We saw the Barter Theater, an old college, another Love installation (or two), the oldest restaurant in America, and ate pizza at Luna's, which was SO good. We then drove to Bristol, which is where our final Airbnb of fall break awaited. I got this one on the last minute and GOODNESS, it was nice! So perfect for us!

Day 8, Saturday
We had a family reunion in Bristol at 1, so we had some time after checkout of our Airbnb and we used it to explore downtown Bristol. We parked along the street and walked till we saw a most beautiful bakery, The Blackbird Bakery. It was DELICIOUS and adorable! We then walked the streets (saw another Love installation) and shopped a bit. We loved the flags on both sides of the street, we took the typical picture of one foot in each state, and we looked at the famous sign. We ended that day with a wonderful family reunion, then headed home to Cleveland!

Day 9, Sunday
Rest and relaxation and church in our sweet little hometown!

All My Life You Have Been Faithful

This probably won’t be a very long one, but it’s one of those crystal clear moments I had today where I could see directly into the heart of this belief system of mine and I want to document it for the times it won’t seem as free from “self” as it did today.

***And I clearly wasn’t the only one, because when Dawn got up to give the welcome, she danced around the very topic that God was addressing in my own heart, though she had a slightly different point that she made today.

We did that Bethel music song, “Goodness of God” in praise and worship. As we were singing the part that says,

“And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God”

I got emotional, as I always do, because He HAS been so faithful all my life, He has been SO GOOD. And then I remembered that a year ago right now, I had just ended a scary series of tests and wait to see if a tumor was malignant or benign, and then that just six months later, I was waiting for more tests on the same tumor, this time surgically removed. As we did that song today, I marveled at how different my life COULD BE today if those test results had come back different.

Just as those thoughts filled my head, my gaze fell on a young widower in our church... and he was singing with gusto. I looked just a little past him and saw a woman with chronic health issues, head raised toward the heavens as she sang. Further over in the sanctuary, someone battling terrifying family issues... a family deserted by their father... a widow who lost her husband tragically at a very young age... a family battling a horrible situation... a mom who lost her only son to drugs and mental illness... and every single one of those people I just named were singing those lines and praising His name. Then, to my immediate left, Angela’s hand slipped into the air... mom, dad, sister killed in a typhoon, orphaned at 8... moved from the only place she had ever known to a new home and new people... lived there for three years, then moved again, this time to another country, culture, language, and people... “all my life You have been faithful, and all my life You have been so, so good”...

Within me, it was welling up, “But that’s not GOOD! None of that is goodness! Goodness isn’t cancer, it isn’t death, it isn’t tragedy, it isn’t bad health, it isn’t drugs, it isn’t divorce or abandonment, it isn’t becoming an orphan! How can all of these people sing and MEAN those words? Those words are true for people like me who haven’t ever had to suffer, not for these people who have lived loss, who are walking through fire...” I’ve always had such fear and dread of what could be awaiting me in my future, anxiety of living through the time the axe is going to fall. I KNOW I am not charmed, I KNOW I’ve just been blessed and lucky so far and one day it’s going to run out. I live in fear of that day.

But all of a sudden today, as clear as could be, it hit me: The song, my faith, it doesn’t say that all my life has been GOOD. It says HE is good. That HE is faithful, and faithful means beside you, not keeping anything bad from happening but walking with you through the bad. And every person with hands raised, head tipped back, singing these words today who have lived the experiences I named above, they are all testaments to the rest of us that we CAN survive the worst and come through the fire, maybe not unscathed but stronger and with Him beside them.

There were others there today who I could name who are right in the middle of the hardest curve ball life could throw at them. There were fresh griefs, new terror, chronic sorrow, lasting tragedy... and those people, too, were singing. And if any of them looked around them like I did, they got a beautiful reminder that, while we wish the promise was for an easy life, it was actually for faithfulness and a good, good God... and we wouldn’t trade those in the midst of the hard for an easy life without Him, not now, not tomorrow, not yesterday, not ever.

The Road Not Taken

Our kids are right smack in the middle of the growing into adulthood years. Well, I guess every year is a growing into adulthood year, but... the teen years REEK of it. ;) With the youngest at 14 and the eldest at 20, there hasn't been a TON of life decisions and choices yet, but occasionally I will see a picture or a path or a possibility or even a person, and I am just overcome with thanks that, even when we didn't know what was best, He did. Garth's "Unanswered Prayers" starts playing on repeat in my head, or "God Blessed the Broken Road".

Other times, I will catch a glimpse of something we thought might be a reality for one of them that has not shaken out, and I feel nostalgic or sad. In those moments, that old Little Texas song, "What Might Have Been" drifts through my mind.

My favorite poem has always been "The Road Not Taken", by Robert Frost. I memorized it as a young, young kid, and have kept it close since that day. When I was in high school, so solid and certain of my future, that poem's first stanza served to remind me that I had done my research and looked down the paths available to me, and I was choosing well. I knew where I was headed and what I would do there, and I could see my future mapped out ahead of me as clearly as a path to travel.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

 I remember in college, after a really drastic life change period that included a 180 degree change in my major and a resulting complete flip in my career plans and  the end of a relationship that was almost four years long and that I had been certain was my future spouse, that poem came to rest in an essay I wrote in my Teaching Writing class. In those weeks and months, everything I thought I knew about my life and myself and my future was rocked, but I was the one doing the rocking. I wasn't taking the path I had always expected to take. I wasn't going to be a physical therapist, and I wasn't going to marry my high school sweetheart. Instead, I was going to do the one job I always said I would never do... become a teacher. And, in a crazy and unexpected twist of fate that shocked everyone who knew me, I not only ended the long and steady relationship, I started a new one almost immediately and we got engaged in just 7 short months. And yet... this path. This was the path that I knew was the road for which I was created.

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

The years passed, time marched on, and life became so busy that I didn't have much time to assess the roads I had or had not taken. We had a wedding, bought a duplex, learned to budget, I got a master's degree, my first teaching job, we ran around with friends, we bought a house, had a baby, went on vacations, served the Lord, fought and made up, had another baby, I started taking pictures, built our forever house, found new interests and hobbies, raised those babies, lost friends, binge-watched a lot of shows, grew established in our jobs, spent time with family, made new friends, buried some loved ones, spent time in nature, went to parent-teacher conferences, rediscovered old friends, fell in love with each other lots more times, cheered for our babies, marked some milestones, fell in love with Jesus in new ways, started a new family business, watched our extended family dynamics change, dated, answered the call to adopt, raised a lot of money, brought home three not-babies, learned to grow as a whole new family, cooked a lot, screen printed and vinyled and printed a wagonload of shirts, vacationed more, taught kids to drive, made changes to our house, found time to watch tv again, and eventually entered the last phase of our careers and the kids-gaining-independence years... And way led on to way.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 

Tomorrow, I turn 42. Although 42 isn't old by any terms but especially not today's, in terms of my life circumstances some things are in twilight at this point. The "at home years" with my kids are just 3-6 more years, probably. My career is in its final third. And so now we come to the sigh. What did Frost mean by the sigh? Was it a contented, happy sigh? I'm grateful for the road I took and the difference it has made is a happy one? Was it a disappointed sigh? There are parts of my path where I wish I had chosen differently and the difference has not been favorable? Is it just that... a sigh? Just a "here we are now, it is what it is" sort of sigh? Was it an exhausted sigh? SO. MUCH. LIVING. So. Much. Road. And I. Am Just. SO. DANG. TIRED???

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

I honestly don't know. Maybe this is the gift of literature and poetry that I try to impress upon my students, the gift of being able to interpret literature the way you want to and to sort of read yourself into the works. As I sit here tonight, on the eve of #42, if I'm being honest, there are whispers sometimes of what might've been. Not on the big things, like my faith or my marriage or my kids or even where we settled and put down roots or sometimes my career... But just on the day to day choices I have made along the way. Where would I be today if I had followed some dreams earlier? Is it ever "too late" to do some things? Have I missed some windows of opportunity by holding to certain roads?

But even as the whispers of what might've been tap on the door on my hard days and flit through my dreams at night, the steady rhythm of unanswered prayers and the full orchestration of the blessing of the broken road is the soundtrack to my life. I know I am right where God wants me to be, beside those He wants me beside, in front of those He wants me in front of, doing the work He wants me to do. And for however long He allows me to walk this less traveled by road I have chosen, I will walk it in faith that He ordained it. And that is what makes all the difference.

My Favorite City on Earth

Having been to Washington, D.C., approximately a million times (give or take), I always have people ask me what they should do and see there. I've been sending this information out to people for years, and I tweak and add to it every year or so as things change. I figured this was a good place to let it land.

Attractions:

Monuments
Obviously, first and foremost is all of the Memorials.  You can walk it and hit most of them in a few hours.  Lincoln, Vietnam, Korea, and Einstein are very close to each other.  You can walk the circle in an afternoon or morning. While you are at Lincoln (get a map for everything), go about two blocks to the right (facing Lincoln, to the right) off the beaten path a little. Really cool Einstein statue and most don't know it's there (you can climb all over it and it makes for a cool picture). The only one that is a little out of the way is Jefferson, but it is SO one of my favorites.  FDR is in the vicinity as well, and it is very worthwhile. MLK is beautiful.  The Washington Monument is closer to the Smithsonians.

Here is the best order for touring the monuments, in my opinion. Start at Jefferson. When you leave that memorial, go left and walk around the tidal basin. There will come a point where you have to go over the bridge and just keep bearing to the right to the Tidal Basin. You will then come upon the FDR Memorial. The first entrance you come upon is actually the end of the memorial, so if you go through that way, you are going backward. This is fine, but if you want to go through the correct chronological order, go through it to the beginning and walk backward to where you started. J  Once you finish with FDR, keep walking around the tidal basin until you reach the MLK Memorial. After that one, go out and cut right (across the street), then take a left down the sidewalk. This will bring you to the Korean Memorial on your right. You can do it, Lincoln, Einstein, and Vietnam right there together, then head BACK down the opposite side of the reflecting pool and fields to get to the WWII Memorial. You can walk straight across to the Washington Monument from the WWII Memorial.

(No metro stops are close to the monuments)

Museums
All of the Smithsonians are fantastic, but if you have to be choosy, Natural History is top choice for most. American History is also a fan favorite, with Air and Space coming in next. Natural History has all of the amazing animals in it and Air and Space has TONS of cool things to do.  My personal favorite is American History, but it’s really about personal interests. My kids loved Natural History the most. I have not been to American Indian but I hear it’s not the best. African-American History just opened and it’s impossible to get into. There is also an Art Museum there on the mall. American History and Natural History are beside each other and Air and Space is diagonally across, so plan to do them in a way that makes sense logistically. (Smithsonian metro stop)

If it's not terribly crowded, I'd hit the Archives but I wouldn't wait too long there. My kids said this was the part we could have left out, for them. It’s close to American History and Natural History, if you want to walk to it while you are at the Smithsonians. (Archives/Navy Memorial stop)

The National Portrait Gallery is REALLY cool if you like art. They have the American Presidents exhibit that alone is worth the trip over. It’s the official portraits of the presidents. This museum is a little off the beaten path, toward Chinatown, but the beauty of it (other than its close proximity to a metro stop) is that is stays open until 7 or 7:30, which gives you something to do at night. (Gallery Place/Chinatown metro stop)

Holocaust Museum is essential, in my opinion. However, you do have to reserve tickets for certain times of year and they are probably already taken. Option 2 for that museum is to go early (8 or so) and get in line for passes. They will give you a timed pass and you can come back at your assigned time. IF it didn’t work out for you to go there or if you choose not to take the time, at the very least, you should go and go to the bottom to the temporary exhibit currently America's Response. It does not require passes to the PE and it is the most powerful exhibit they have ever had there. Obviously this museum is my #1.  (Smithsonian stop is the closest metro stop)

***Closes in December 2019: So far, everything I have mentioned is free.  The next one is not free, but it’s the best there…The Newseum. The Newseum should be near the top of your list. It's my second favorite museum but it does have an admission cost. It's a two day ticket, so plan it for a day you could go back the next day if you wanted to. It’s near the Navy Memorial metro stop. They also have a great cafeteria (though not cheap), if you want to eat there.

The International Spy Museum is another that costs, but some people like it. It’s pretty text-heavy and parts of it are boring, but parts of it are so cool like when you can crawl through the ductwork in the ceiling and spy on people.  I wasn't nuts about this place but a lot of my tenth grade boys were when we went.  

Important Sites

SKIP the Bureau of Engraving and Printing unless you just want to be bored out of your ever-lovin mind. But if you like boredom, you can take a tour of it. I do not recommend it.

Walk by both sides of the White House. This can be done when you are finishing the memorials or when you leave the Newseum.

The Capitol tour is cool if you have lots of time, has to be booked in advance. There is also a Capitol Visitor’s Center you can go to if you don’t do the tour.

The Library of Congress is really incredible, even if you aren’t into books. It’s just a gorgeous building and you can just walk in and take the public tour if one is happening. If not, you can just walk around. It’s worth a stop. (Capitol South metro stop)

When you leave the Library of Congress, you can go right and walk past (and even INTO, we found out this last trip!) the Supreme Court.

Union Station is very cool, but it could be skipped. They do have a great Pizzeria Uno there. It’s a metro stop but is a little out of the way to walk to if you don’t metro to it.

For sure try to catch the Ranger talk at Ford's Theater. You need to check a schedule beforehand to see when those are offered. It's out of this world amazing. You need to book in advance. (Metro Center metro stop)

A really cool nighttime activity if you like music or performance at all, take the metro to Foggy Bottom/GWU stop and then catch the free shuttle to Kennedy Center and watch a free performance on Millenium Stage at 6. They have one every night and you can see the schedule online. We make sure to do this on every trip and it’s been some of the highlights of our visit.

Personally, I don't think a trip to DC is complete without going to Arlington.  However, Arlington is a little out of the way.  You have to either drive or take the metro over.  Even still... wow.  And my very favorite monument (have I said that at least three of them so far were my favorites?) is over by Arlington.  It is the Iwo Jima Memorial, the guys lifting up the flag?  If you do decide to go to Arlington, be sure to see the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, the Challenger memorial that is near it, and the Kennedy gravesites.  For some reason, Arlington is one of my favorite places on earth.  Last time we were there we were able to see a funeral.  Wow. Honestly, especially if time is limited or if it’s bad weather or if you have whiny walkers with you, taking the tram is your best bet. It’s $9 or so and totally worthwhile because they stop at all of the major sites and they offer an explanation the whole time.

If you love animals, hit the zoo. I’ve been twice and absolutely love it. You can take the Cleveland Park metro stop and walk a flat mile to the zoo or the Woodley Park stop and walk an uphill mile OR you can do what we did and cab over (we got a van for our family of 7 and the drive was $20). It’s a great zoo.
   
I would at least drive or cab down Embassy Row, the flags are cool to see. And while you are over that way (the zoo is in this area too) the National Cathedral... wow. Amazing and beautiful.

I have only been to Mt. Vernon once but I would highly recommend it IF you have enough time. You can take a metro bus or a cab there but it’s pretty far out. (Or drive if you have your own car.)

Food:
I can tell you that if you are in the mall area (right down from the USHMM), the Ag Department, has the best cafeteria you have ever been to.  The public can get in and it is cheap and amazing.  
The cafeteria at the Newseum is REALLY good, though a little costly. 
The greatest place for food is at the Reagan Building, which is a few blocks past the Washington Monument. It’s a food court with TONS of options. It’s pretty close to the American History Museum.
Union Station has lots of food options as well.
If you do the Kennedy Center performance, there is a little burger place just down the street from the shuttle stop that was really good.
There is a Shake Shack near the International Spy Museum.
The USHMM has a great (kosher) cafeteria that isn’t crowded at all.

Extras:
Something I discovered a few years ago that I didn't know about before is DC by Foot. It's free walking tours. I now try to find them every time I visit a city (free tours by foot). I've done four in DC (Arlington, Lincoln’s Assassination Tour (4 times), Memorials, Library of Congress and Capitol), one in New Orelans, and two in NYC. WOW! Imagine the best history teacher you have ever had who is also a professional storyteller. That's what these are. We did the Arlington one and the Lincoln Assassination tour (which, for all of us, was the highlight of our trip). You NEEEEED to do the Lincoln Assassination tour. It's at night and only on certain nights. Check that schedule online too.They are free except you just tip your guide. Best thing you can do.

Lodging:
Well, when we go with our students, we have gone to the George Washington University area and stayed about a block from a metro. It is so safe, you can be out at any hour of the night, and you are right beside the metro. We have also stayed in the Woodley Park area with students.

That was my preference for when our family went. HOWEVER... It was soooo expensive. Therefore, we have stayed in Alexandria on both October trips and, while a bit more work, it was fine. If you don't mind a little bit of extra effort, I can give you two plans that will save you TONS of money...Pick which one depending on family size, maybe. When we were a family of four, we stayed at the Holiday Inn Express in Old Town Alexandria. There is a free shuttle that they run to the airport. It is only about a five minute ride to the airport. At the airport, you can get on the metro and ride it right into the city and go anywhere you want. The only thing is, you have to make sure you aren't coming back to the hotel any later than the shuttle runs (I think 10 is the latest). We got metro passes and it worked out beautifully. Our hotel was only about $129/night as compared to nearly $350 at my preferred location. The other nice thing about that particular hotel is that across the parking lot was a giant grocery store with a little breakfast buffet. We went over there every morning and got breakfast for around $2-$3 each and ate it on the bench while waiting on the shuttle. One night we even ate supper there when we got back late (Ritz crackers and cheese and pepperoni, haha!). There is also a shuttle that takes you into Old Town Alexandria.

As a family of 7, it was going to be costly everywhere I looked for two rooms (at cheaper hotels). Then I found the Embassy Suites Old Town Alexandria and it was PERFECTION (with one exception). Our room was $213 per night and it slept 7 of us comfortably (with one on a recliner chair or on a cot). The BEST things about this hotel were the food that came with our room and the proximity to a metro and shuttle. The morning breakfast was MASSIVE. That is how we were able to take picnic lunches into the city every day, even with big eaters. They ate a HUGE breakfast that filled them up. Also, if you get back in time, they had food out at night as well and our crowd loved it the night we got back early enough for them to have cheese and crackers and cokes after dinner, haha! The proximity to the metro from this hotel was incredible. Literally across the street and through the parking lot was the King Street/Old Town Alexandria metro stop. And the King Street trolley stop is also directly across from the hotel, which provides you with outside of the city dining options that are a little cheaper, a beautiful waterfront to explore, historical walking tours you can book in advance, and also the water taxi departure point (we didn’t ever do this because it’s pretty costly for a family of 7, but it would have been a fun thing to do—it will take you all the way to National Harbor or just to the monuments). The ONLY downside of this hotel is the parking cost ($32 PER DAY) and the size of the garage. {I did learn from Trip Advisor of some parking options, but we didn’t try any of them so I can’t be sure of their success. One was that there is street parking that’s free on the weekends, but you have to be around to move your car a lot. Another option is that apparently the Alexandria Visitor’s Center (on King Street) offers free parking passes, and you can get a new one each day. However, you would have to be able to get there every day to get one AND find a spot. There is apparently a parking garage a few blocks away that is cheaper than the hotel one ($7/day, I think?). And then some people used the overnight parking at a metro stop a few stops away (only $4 a day, I think) and just metro’d to the hotel. You can search this on the metro website (stations with overnight parking).}

Transportation:
Metro in DC is the way to go. It’s incredibly easy, relatively cheap, and WAY beats trying to get around in your own car. Just use the maps and pay attention to the directions you are going. If you are going to be there a week, a metro pass is the cheapest because your fares depend on where you are going and on the times of day you are traveling. It’s very very safe, even late at night. We loaded $10 the first full day on each card, $10 the second day, and $10 the third day, then on the fourth day we used what was left. We each got off with 50 cents left on each card, so it worked out beautifully.

We did realize on this past trip as a family of 7 that metro is not as cost-effective with a big family as it is with smaller ones. We drove into the city the first afternoon (on our arrival day) and had an easy time finding a parking garage where we paid $10 to park while we explored the monuments. That’s $10 total as opposed to approximately $10 per person per day for our metro riding. However, we weren’t sure if it would be hard to find spots in a garage on the other days, how much time it would take to drive in and out on weekdays, and if garages were close to the places we were going, so we only used a garage one day.

Getting there (may not apply):
As for flying/driving, tickets out of Chattanooga are usually around $200-300 each. That's actually a pretty good deal (we used to fly with our students until we discovered Megabus). The thing with DC is that the drive isn't too bad (we had to drive back HOME on our family  trip after I MESSED UP HORRIBLY and we MISSED the Megabus) BUT parking is usually very costly. So it all depends on how much you want to spend. I am a CHEAPO and would prefer to drive over fly (due to cost) but we elected for the CHEAPEST, which is Megabus. Tickets on Megabus from our area range and can be $40ish round trip. You can't beat that. It's comfortable, has decent wi-fi, and takes you directly to Union Station where there is a metro stop. Our first family DC trip (eliminating the RENTAL CAR HOME) would have been around $750 (not counting food) total except that we had to spend a little bit more on activities since the free stuff was all part of the government shut down.

For our second full (large) family DC trip, we drove up and did have to pay for parking (Megabus wasn’t as cost-effective for 7 people as using our own van).

Big Family Edits:

I’ve worked a lot of commentary into the above points, but I’ll break down a few of the ways we did this trip this year with our larger family and still managed to be cost-effective.

We wrestled a lot with lodging decisions. I looked at some AirBnb properties, HomeAway, and the various options like those. My concern with booking one of those was simply that I don’t know much about the residential areas of DC and some parts are, I’m certain, pretty sketchy. In addition, it was essential that our property be near a metro stop and very few of them were. We also looked at hotels that were “cheaper” hotels, but booking two rooms at a cheap hotel ended up costing more than this nicer hotel with a suite. Again, being close to a metro stop limits you somewhat. I would recommend the Embassy Suites Old Town Alexandria ALL DAY, EVERY DAY to anyone, especially those with large families who are trying to save money. The proximity to the metro was PERFECT for us and the GIANT breakfast meant that we could save by doing picnic lunches.

One of the biggest expenses for our family is always food, partly because we are large in number and partly because three of our five kids are HUGE eaters. I went to the grocery store before we left and got foods that were easy to pack: granola bars, dried fruit, apples, bananas, Little Debbies, Pringles, packs of peanut butter crackers and cheese crackers, loaves of bread, and peanut butter. We filled a backpack with these foods every day and did a picnic lunch. We DID buy drinks for lunch every day (at $2-$3 per drink!), but you could also pack waters, I suppose. Most museums will let you in with water bottles if you drink out of them first. By eating the massive cooked to order breakfast before we left the hotel, they could make it with a lighter lunch. Then every night, we ate dinner at a restaurant. We did try to find decently priced restaurants (Saturday night at Theisman’s next door to our hotel, Sunday night at a burger place just down from the Kennedy Center Shuttle Stop at the GWU-Foggy Bottom metro stop, Monday night at a pub on King Street (took the King Street trolly down and just found something that looked good), Tuesday night at a pizza place called Lena’s that was recommended to us by a friend at the Braddock Rd metro stop (the stop before Old Town Alexandria/King Street). On Wednesday, we went to the Newseum in the afternoon and I knew how great the food there was, plus I knew that we had our night walking tour and cheap food would be hard to come by, so on Wednesday we ate our dinner out as lunch at the Newseum and then had our picnic dinner on benches beside the White House near Layfayette Park.)
I already mentioned the metro costs for a larger family. I do think that for a large family, driving in and parking is much cheaper. However, it’s also a crapshoot, because you may not find a spot or a garage and it takes a lot of time. We spent $210 on metro passes for a family of 7. I would probably do the same next time we go, just because it’s so easy to get everywhere (and saves so much time) doing it that way, even though it’s a little costly. If you are going somewhere a distance away (the zoo is really the best example of this), especially somewhere that doesn’t have a close metro stop, taking a cab (we used a minivan cab) is cheaper than using the metro. We cabbed to the zoo and back.

The only attractions listed here that cost money would be the Newseum, the Arlington trolley (or you can walk for free), the Spy Museum, and Mount Vernon. We didn’t have time for Mt. Vernon on this trip and I don’t like the Spy Museum at all, so that left the Newseum and Arlington. We just visited the American military cemetary in Manila when we picked our kids up in June, so this trip we just did the Newseum.

Sample Itinerary:

This will obviously be dependent on what you choose to do, the age of your kids, how hard your family can go, and a million other factors. Our family tends to go hard on vacations (leave the room early, take no breaks, walk a ton, come in late). We did take it a little easier on this one just because it was our first one with our three new kids and we weren’t sure of their stamina. The other thing about DC is that most of the things you would want to do shut down pretty early, so you do get quiet and calm evenings to rest if you want them. We also avoid malls and things like that on vacations. Below is the itinerary for our family for our last trip. A few things changed last minute, so I included in brackets what we MIGHT have done at that time. I am happy to help you work out an itinerary based on what you want to do.

Saturday-
Left at 5:30 in the morning, stopped for gas/breakfast, rest stop bathroom, gas station for bathroom and drinks (ate packed lunches). Arrived around 2 and decided, based on weather, to go straight into the city and park in parking garage instead of going to the hotel.
Parked in a garage near the Orange Mandarin hotel (very near the Jefferson Memorial) for $10.
Walked the monument loop described above.
Walked back to the car, drove to the hotel, checked in, walked next door to Theisman’s for dinner.
{We had a DCbyFoot tour of the Monuments and Tidal Basin scheduled for Sunday. However, Sunday was predicted for 100% rain and Saturday was beautiful, plus we got in so early on Saturday that we decided to cancel our Sunday tour and just do the monuments by ourselves on Saturday. It was a good choice, although it didn’t even rain at all on Sunday.}

Sunday-
Metro to Smithsonian stop
United States Holocaust Memorial Museum
Picnic lunch on the National Mall
Smithsonian Museum of American History
Archives
Metro to Foggy Bottom/GWU stop
Dinner at pizza place down the street
Kennedy Center shuttle to Kennedy Center
6:00 Performance
Shuttle back to metro
Metro to Alexandria

Monday-
Metro to Smithsonian stop
Air and Space Museum
Picnic on the National Mall
Natural History Museum
{We could have done this day faster and possibly gone to the zoo or Arlington. However, this was a day where some people were having some times and some moods and we felt like we needed to take it easy. Also, they really enjoyed the Natural History Museum and took a long time in it.}
Metro’d back to our hotel, changed clothes, and hopped on the trolley to Old Town Alexandria.
We rode it all the way to the waterfront, got off and walked around, walked a few blocks back, looking for somewhere to eat. We ate at a little pub, then walked to the closest trolley stop where we caught the trolley and were back to our hotel by 8.
Watched movies and rested.

Tuesday-
Metro to Metro Center
10- Ford’s Theater Ranger Talk (booked)
Taxi to Zoo
Zoo
Taxi back, asked him to drive us by National Cathedral and down Embassy Row
Dropped us off at the Portrait Gallery
Gallery Place/Chinatown metro to Braddock Rd stop, walked a few blocks to Lena’s (Italian place) for dinner
Metro to Alexandria
Got back to the hotel in time to catch the evening reception and the kids loaded up on cheese and crackers
Movie and packing in the hotel
{We were supposed to have a DCbyFoot tour of the Capitol and Library of Congress on this afternoon. I found out Monday that it was canceled and so I moved the zoo to Tuesday. Otherwise, we would have gone to the zoo Monday and done both museums in the morning on Monday.}

Wednesday-
Left a little later from the hotel that day
Metro to Capitol South
Library of Congress (caught a public tour that happened to be starting as we walked in)
Walked next door to the Supreme Court where we found that you CAN go in!
Walked by an around the Capitol, did not elect to go in the Visitor’s Center or on the tour
Walked a pretty long walk to the Newseum
Ate lunch in their cafeteria and spent the entire afternoon there. (There is a virtual reality thing on the 2nd or 3rd floor. We started at the top and worked our way down, which meant we got to the virtual reality part too late to do it since they stop it early. I would start there. Also, don’t miss the terrace of the Newseum (top floor), it’s a great photo op with the Capitol in the background.)
Left there when they closed at 5 and walked to one side of the White House (Washington Monument side), then walked around it to the other side.
Got drinks at a McDonald’s close by ($1 any size!!!!!) and went to the bathroom there.
Ate a picnic supper on benches under trees (it was raining) in front of the OEOB
Our DCbyFoot Lincoln Assassination Tour met in Layfayette Park at 7, ending at 9 at Ford’s Theater
Took the metro from Metro Center to Alexandria

I am sure there are things I am leaving out, but this is a pretty comprehensive list of must-sees. Dang I love that city.  

Enjoy my favorite city!!!

Cruise Excursions and Tips

If there's one thing I love, it's travel. The only thing I love almost as much as travel, it's sharing travel ideas and tips with other people. I have lots of posts on this blog, linked below, about various trips we have taken. I realized I had not ever done a cruise post, so this seemed like a good time.
https://athenajdavis.blogspot.com/2018/05/renaissance-weekend.html
https://athenajdavis.blogspot.com/2018/05/the-eastern-shore.html
https://athenajdavis.blogspot.com/2019/03/manatees-airboats-gators-sponges-and.html

Our Cruise Crowd
I am not sure how many cruises we have taken, I think somewhere in the neighborhood of 6-7. Of that number, we have taken a few just the two of us, a couple as a small family, and one as a family of seven. We are hoping to take another this fall with the two sets of grandparents.

Cruise Company
All of our cruises have been through Carnival, mostly because it's the cheapest and we are cheap. :) However, we have always been very pleased with Carnival and everything about them.

Cruise Ships
I was going to try and list the ships we have been on but I have absolutely no idea. My favorite ship (that no longer exists in this capacity) for a certain reason was Paradise, and that is because it was non-smoking. They don't have it as non-smoking any longer. In regard to the ships, we like the moderately sized to larger ones just due to being more steady in the water. The activities on the ships don't really vary a whole lot in my experience, and neither does the food.

Cruise Departure Ports
We have cruised out of Fort Lauderdale, Jacksonville, New Orleans, Port Canaveral, and Tampa. We really liked the ports at Tampa and New Orleans because they were both very easy to get in and get out of, and in Tampa, we found a cheap independent parking lot to pay for our van while we were gone.

Cruise Ports of Call
We have made stops in Cozumel and Yucatan (Progreso) {both Mexico}, Nassau and Freeport {both Bahamas}, Mahogany Bay Isla Roatan {Honduras}, Grand Cayman {Cayman Islands}, Belize, Ocho Rios {Jamaica}, and Key West {Florida}. Of all of our cruises, my very favorite itinerary was our last cruise to Belize, Honduras, Cozumel, and Grand Cayman. My very least favorite places to stop are probably Yucatan (Progreso) and the Bahamas.

Cruise Excursions
We have done excursions through Carnival, excursions through outside local companies, and excursions on our own. We have probably learned the most about the ports and excursions, and it's the part I love to share with people. Excursions through Carnival are ridiculously expensive. However, they are also vetted and subject to inspections (I would be nervous to do certain potentially dangerous excursions through companies I didn't know much about) AND you are guaranteed to get back to the ship, no matter what happens. So there are definitely pluses to those excursions.

I much prefer doing my own research and either using a local company or going off on our own. With Trip Advisor and other online forums, it's just too easy to glean off the experiences of others rather than making your own mistakes (although we have certainly made our own mistakes).

Jamaica:

• Dunn's River Falls- Through Carnival, a great day excursion to hike the cascading waterfall, could be done by anyone and we also shopped at the top. Really great excursion we have done twice.
• Zipline- Through Carnival, lots of fun with multiple lines and levels, we stopped for a local lunch on the way back.

Cozumel:

• Beach Day- We paid for this and shouldn't have, we should have just taken a cab to a public beach and snorkeled.
• Dolphin Excursion-This was a really incredible Carnival excursion. It was professional, felt safe, and was well done. The girls (and us too) loved swimming with the dolphins.
• Dune Buggies tour of the area (snorkeling, reserve and lighthouse, shopping, lunch)- I cannot recommend this excursion highly enough. We used a local company (I read a ton of reviews in advance) and they were AWESOME. We have recommended them multiple times to other people since that time. Carlos was our guide, and here is the link: https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g150809-d651462-Reviews-Cozumel_Cruise_Excursions_Private_Tours-Cozumel_Yucatan_Peninsula.html

Yucatan:

• Mayan Ruins- We did this through a Carnival excursion. The bus ride was a little long, but the ruins were great. I can't find the specific name for it, but we also went swimming in a natural lagoon-type thing there. This particular stop (Yucatan) did not appear to be a place where you would want to go it on your own. There wasn't much there.

Nasseau:

• Atlantis- We did this as a Carnival excursion, but we will not do it that way again. Next time, we will just take a water taxi over and pay for a one day pass to Atlantis. Atlantis is an INCREDIBLE site and we want to go back another time.

Freeport:

• Shopping- We just walked around on our own through the market here.

Caymans:

• Stingray City- We have done this excursion 3 times, twice through Carnival and once through a local company. It's fantastic. 
• Snorkeling- On our last trip, we just walked down the street near the ship and rented snorkeling gear just off the beach area. It was great snorkeling. We have heard that Seven Mile Beach is also great snorkeling.
• Shopping- People talk a lot about shopping in the Caymans, and on our first trip, we planned to just do that. We realized very quickly that it may be cheap for one demographic of people, but NOT all. :) 

Belize:

• Goff's Caye - We got off the ship and walked left to the mall area, where we found local companies. We booked a tour to Goff's Caye and it was one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. It was a LONG water taxi ride, but well worth it. This was the best snorkeling we did on the whole cruise.

Key West:

• Local touring on our own- We just walked around Key West, toured the Hemingway House, went to the southernmost tip of the US, etc.. Beautiful area. 

Honduras:

• Local tour, zipline, shopping, animal encounter- We learned of this local company and guide (Jeffrie Bailey Johnson) from friends of ours who went to Roatan and IT WAS SO INCREDIBLE! The company is https://www.facebook.com/roatanfuntourshn/?eid=ARBasIjlJmvvJlW1GPUwwMdlpnT15EcLqtWGw6d5VgTI5S0otS9vS2RFtgQwyoXB5RnO9sfFVMT-Yzx7&timeline_context_item_type=intro_card_work&timeline_context_item_source=100001301448985&fref=tag . We just told Jeffrie what we wanted and he made it happen! We went to the animal park (not the one all the tours go to, but another one) and had some in our crowd who wanted to zipline, so they did it there. We told him we wanted to shop, but not at the port, so he took us to an awesome hilltop market with beautiful views. It was just an awesome day. He told us that next time we come, he wants to drive us to the other side of the island. He also offered beach and snorkeling, but we didn't want to do that on that day. 
• The Carnival beach beside the ship is really nice and easy to get to, if you just wanted to do it and not take an excursion.

Cruise Tips and Tricks

I highly recommend the early dining option if you are cruising at fall break, winter, or spring break. The return from the ports is very early, so it makes it easier to eat and see a show at that time. 

The drink plan is WORTH EVERY PENNY. Get it.

Failing Forward

I failed at my goal of writing every day in November. I missed Friday and Saturday before I even realized it, then Sunday was here and pretty much gone and I didn’t think about it until late that night. I think that night I made a pretty conscious decision to quit. I mean, if your goal is 30 days straight and you fail on Day 15, it’s over, right? Your goal is unaccomplished. So why write on days 17-30? 

That’s how I have always thought. For me, the biggest battle with everything is mental. I have these grand ideas and plans, and sometimes I even start them, but I seldom carry them out. And the reason I don’t is that if I blow it along the way, I consider it over, written off, done. I realized this about myself a few years ago, and so the adjustment I made at that point is breaking my big goals into small steps. Instead of “Get healthy”, I focused on going to bed at a decent hour during the second half of 2016. In 2017, I made it a point to drink more water. In 2018, I cut down on my sugar intake. In 2019, I had to reevaluate and refocus on the previous three, plus work on my mental and emotional health and rest, plus halfway through that year I added intermittent fasting as a weight loss attempt. Now I’m ready in 2020 to work on physical fitness. If I had tried to do all of these things at once, I would have failed immediately because it was too much change at a time, and as soon as I failed at one or the other, I would have scrapped the entire plan.

I’m now trying to teach myself that failing doesn’t mean you can’t start again. In fact, you aren’t even starting over, you are just continuing toward the end goal. My pastor’s wife talks about “failing forward”. We are going to fail, but it’s important that we fail forward and keep making progress, even in our failure. 

So, here I am. I’ll be four days short in my 30 day goal. In fact, I may be even more than four days short, depending on future failures. But I’m back. I’m here today. I’m writing. I may have failed, but I failed forward, and failing forward still moves me in the direction of my goal.

Another Day in America

Another school shooting today. Another reminder that we aren’t safe anywhere. Another reason for kids to tense up at every noise, for every social media post to be triple and quadruple analyzed, for teachers and parents to feel paralyzed with fear. Another in a long line of never ending messages that this earth is not a place of peace. 

My kids are all snug in their beds upstairs and three families are mourning theirs tonight.

Columbine happened 20 years ago. The entire world STOPPED. I’ve been on and off my phone and with other people all day long and the first I heard of this was ten minutes ago.

This is where we are. It’s just a blip on our radar now. Another senseless act of violence. Another massacre of children in school. Another day in America.

home.

***Update from last night’s post: Saige is home! We aren’t positive what happened (it’s really weird and pretty unnerving and creepy), but she is here and she is physically ok, though likely traumatized. And I am ELATED to have her home!

If I’m being honest, I have nothing to say tonight. It was an emotionally draining day, it’s been an exhausting night, and this week is one of those “if I can just make it to a Sunday, I’ll be ok” sort of weeks that I preached against in an earlier post.

However, a commitment is a commitment, even when there isn’t much to say, so I’ll just leave a little reflection on Saige’s homecoming.

Tonight I sat in the mudroom and I hugged and loved on her for longer than she preferred. One of my kids said, “I’m glad you came home” to her and in it, I heard the echo of the same sentiment from a couple of weeks ago when we had a rough night and situation.

It got me thinking about what home is, what it means, and how our Father feels when we stray or get confused or forgetful or scared or mad or ignorantly independent... how He is waiting, not with words of anger or hurt or confusion or remorse, but with arms open and heart full, just thankful to have us back HOME.

I Can't Put into Words

My dog is missing. This is the first dog of my adult life, the first since I was a teenager and my childhood dog finally passed away. It's a dog I never thought I wanted, never thought I would have. It's not the dog we even went to the shelter to get, but the dog we were meant to have. The dog we went to get was climbing all over its new owner when we finally hopped out of our car, so excited to pick up the friendly guy that we had seen pics and videos of. The dog we got, for whatever insane reason, was the one that huddled at the back of the cage and wouldn't meet our eyes. I have no idea what made us take her home that day, but I can't even put into words how glad I am that we did.

The first week home, it was obvious it wasn't going to work out. We got her for an inside dog and she was, to put it mildly, terrified of us. Literally, the day we got her home, she somehow wormed her way out of the harness and took off, escaping before we even got her in the house. We looked for her for hours in the January cold, ready to give up when Emma swooped in on her when she wasn't looking and carried her down the driveway, slip-sliding on the ice.

I couldn't imagine what had possessed us to think we were dog people, and especially what made us get HER. She hated being inside, wouldn't come near any of us. We finally let her out, knowing that she likely wouldn't come back. But the next day, she was there. Not willing to let us pet her, or even get close, but able to be lured in with some good. She loved running and playing with the kids even then, but wouldn't let me or Kraig within ten feet of her and didn't like to be too close to the kids, either.

I actually tried to give her away those first weeks. We needed an inside dog due to where our house is located and this girl was anything but an inside dog. No one expressed an interest, and I can't even put into words how glad I am that they didn't.

We just accepted that she was likely going to get killed on the highway or in the field, but figured we would love her and feed her until that day. We kind of felt like at least a short life outside the shelter beat life inside the shelter.

Every day, she was there. Maybe not all day, but in the mornings and in the evenings and at various times in the middle, she was around. She knew this was home. Sometimes we could hear her barking at all hours of the night, so we started to put her in the garage during the night.

Over time, things started to change. She grew less and less afraid of us, become incredibly fond of Kraig, and even stopped barking ferociously at other people who stopped by. She roamed the fields as one who lives a wild and free life, and she loved her reign on this little farm.

Summer before last, we are certain that she got bitten by a snake and equally certain that she was defending Francisco when it happened. He was cleaning out brush along the fencerow and she started barking like crazy, then came out and just laid down. He didn't think much of it, but explained the backstory when we got home and questioned why she was just laying there. Kraig carried her to the garage and, once Francisco mentioned her favoring a foot, Kraig saw the fang marks. We called the emergency vet and they said anti-venom depended on the type of snake and also that it was probably more expensive than we wanted to pay. They recommended just making her comfortable and seeing what happened. We left her in the garage and had to go somewhere that night, and I was sick inside at what we would find when we got home. However, when the garage door went up, there she was, breathing and living. She stayed down a few days, but slowly got back to her normal roaming and cow playing self. I can't even put into words how glad I am that she did.

I have joked over and over that this dog was so much cheaper than any sort of therapy, and I think God knew exactly when I was most going to need the love of this beautiful brown girl with the chocolate puddles for eyes who knew exactly how to love me, and he sent her along right then. In my head, I was getting a dog for the kids, to play a role in their adjustment and attachment. In my heart, it turned out that she was apparently for me.

I don't know where Saige is tonight, or where she has been since yesterday morning, but I am going to bed tonight praying and hoping against hope that she comes back and is ok. I need that girl in my world. I can't even put into words just how much.

The Wonder of Service

Today is Veteran’s Day, a day that always makes my heart burst with pride in our country and the people who defend it. Since I was tiny, I’ve been a sucker for all things America... the flag, the soldiers, July 4, Inauguration Day, voting, the national anthem, the pledge. I have never served in the military and never even really considered it other than a brief few weeks after I apparently aced the ASVAAB(?) and the Air Force recruiter talked to me a LOT about being a physical therapist (my career goal at that time) in the Air Force. I guess it’s a good thing that didn’t work out since I don’t know of many English teacher positions in our armed forces.

Anyway, I will openly admit that I have always harbored a secret dream that one of my kids would go into the military. It was pretty obvious from early on that it wasn’t going to be Emma or Kelsey, so I figured my dream was over before it started. However, along came Angela and JROTC and, while there is still a lot of time for things to change (like my PT career), it’s looking like she may be my Airman one day! Seeing her in the JROTC program (and the impact of that program on so many of our kids) has been the most incredible thing. I feel so blessed that we have it at CHS and that she gets to take part in it.

I posted the photo and post below on fb, so I thought I would share here as well.

I’m hopeful that we live our lives in a way that honors our veterans daily, by appreciating the freedom we enjoy and by living gratefully for the sacrifices they make when they choose to serve. However, a day set aside to honor them specifically is an excellent reminder that this life we live didn’t come without a cost. This quote is from a book we read in Holocaust Lit, and it is from an interaction between this young Holocaust survivor and her liberator, an American soldier. “I couldn’t absorb enough of the wonder that he fought for my freedom.” May we all cherish the wonder today that men and women all around the world are fighting for freedom to be preserved, both for Americans as well as for those in countries far away, like this Jewish girl in Poland in 1945. To the three veterans in our direct family lineage, my dad (Air Force), my father-in-law (Army), and my husband’s grandfather whom I never got to meet (Army— Purple Heart in WWII), the Davis 7 is so grateful for your service and your courage.