My dog is missing. This is the first dog of my adult life, the first since I was a teenager and my childhood dog finally passed away. It's a dog I never thought I wanted, never thought I would have. It's not the dog we even went to the shelter to get, but the dog we were meant to have. The dog we went to get was climbing all over its new owner when we finally hopped out of our car, so excited to pick up the friendly guy that we had seen pics and videos of. The dog we got, for whatever insane reason, was the one that huddled at the back of the cage and wouldn't meet our eyes. I have no idea what made us take her home that day, but I can't even put into words how glad I am that we did.
The first week home, it was obvious it wasn't going to work out. We got her for an inside dog and she was, to put it mildly, terrified of us. Literally, the day we got her home, she somehow wormed her way out of the harness and took off, escaping before we even got her in the house. We looked for her for hours in the January cold, ready to give up when Emma swooped in on her when she wasn't looking and carried her down the driveway, slip-sliding on the ice.
I couldn't imagine what had possessed us to think we were dog people, and especially what made us get HER. She hated being inside, wouldn't come near any of us. We finally let her out, knowing that she likely wouldn't come back. But the next day, she was there. Not willing to let us pet her, or even get close, but able to be lured in with some good. She loved running and playing with the kids even then, but wouldn't let me or Kraig within ten feet of her and didn't like to be too close to the kids, either.
I actually tried to give her away those first weeks. We needed an inside dog due to where our house is located and this girl was anything but an inside dog. No one expressed an interest, and I can't even put into words how glad I am that they didn't.
We just accepted that she was likely going to get killed on the highway or in the field, but figured we would love her and feed her until that day. We kind of felt like at least a short life outside the shelter beat life inside the shelter.
Every day, she was there. Maybe not all day, but in the mornings and in the evenings and at various times in the middle, she was around. She knew this was home. Sometimes we could hear her barking at all hours of the night, so we started to put her in the garage during the night.
Over time, things started to change. She grew less and less afraid of us, become incredibly fond of Kraig, and even stopped barking ferociously at other people who stopped by. She roamed the fields as one who lives a wild and free life, and she loved her reign on this little farm.
Summer before last, we are certain that she got bitten by a snake and equally certain that she was defending Francisco when it happened. He was cleaning out brush along the fencerow and she started barking like crazy, then came out and just laid down. He didn't think much of it, but explained the backstory when we got home and questioned why she was just laying there. Kraig carried her to the garage and, once Francisco mentioned her favoring a foot, Kraig saw the fang marks. We called the emergency vet and they said anti-venom depended on the type of snake and also that it was probably more expensive than we wanted to pay. They recommended just making her comfortable and seeing what happened. We left her in the garage and had to go somewhere that night, and I was sick inside at what we would find when we got home. However, when the garage door went up, there she was, breathing and living. She stayed down a few days, but slowly got back to her normal roaming and cow playing self. I can't even put into words how glad I am that she did.
I have joked over and over that this dog was so much cheaper than any sort of therapy, and I think God knew exactly when I was most going to need the love of this beautiful brown girl with the chocolate puddles for eyes who knew exactly how to love me, and he sent her along right then. In my head, I was getting a dog for the kids, to play a role in their adjustment and attachment. In my heart, it turned out that she was apparently for me.
I don't know where Saige is tonight, or where she has been since yesterday morning, but I am going to bed tonight praying and hoping against hope that she comes back and is ok. I need that girl in my world. I can't even put into words just how much.
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